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Child of God  ~[Lily Soon] ~Belongs to God. ~I don't bite. ~Music is beautiful. Here & There Talk To Me Definition of Love Love is kind It does not envy It does not boast It is not proud It is not rude It is not self-seeking It is not easily angered It keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil But rejoices with truth It always protects Always trusts Always hope Always perserveres Love never fails) 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 God's Words Pray with Me -Sister's spiritual growth -Auntie Christina Sim's health & healing -Developing countries -Spiritual growth -Knowing what God has in plan for me -Relatives to know about Christ -Gift of Giving -Studies -Health and well-being of family -Discipline and focus in goals -Perserverence in reading the bible daily Bros & Sis<3 Aimst Fellowship Crystal Bian Bian Lily姐 小云姐 Teddy哥哥 Alex^^ Jasper Max Mic Mic Shi Yi Edith Val Yee Loi Larry Joy Kelvin C Kawaii Kevin Evelyn Felicia Jacinta Rome Serenne Lawson Blogs I Read Yuu~Chan Vain Kenny Xiu Wen Fai Fai Stephy Vincent Joey Shaunnie Christine Baby Bear(Li Ann) Papa Bear(Zhang Huai) Amelia^^ Angeline(Dolphin) Clement Yi Cheng Zhi Hui Rachael Kuan Wen Wei Lian Have a Look Cheesie Xia Xue Vivian Su Ann May Zhee Jessica Peggy Yan Wen Dawn Nira Gwendolyn Cai Weii Esther Pei Yeeng Feisty Charmaine Michelle Justice4BengHock YMI Isabella Chukei-Baby Let bygone be bygone. July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 October 2010 March 2011 |
Thursday, December 31 ( No new year resolutions..,. @ 14:34:00 ) 2009 marks the end of teenagehood for me as I would be turning 20 in 2010. This year had flown by in comparison to th year 2008, probably having something to do with the 7 months of holiday since the beginning of the year. It marks a year of failure and success, falling and rising as well as an emotional roller-coaster ride. As every year when I glanced back, I realised the overwhelming changes I went through, not much physically (except maybe growing fatter and shorter) but mentally and spiritually. I had learnt to accept failures as part of life as I received my result slip on Valentine’s Day, a Saturday I remembered. I expected it but to see the reality printed on the piece of paper was a blow in the face. I went on with the plan I had earlier to go on pursuing my dream. God’s providence is indeed sufficient now as I looked back, for I could not believe I even have the courage or the strength to do what I had done, brave the odds and spent another year repeating the course while others, move on to other courses and universities. I had not always been fond of little children. To me, they are rowdy and a nuisance. I couldn’t bear to be around them or I would risk losing my head and ended up screaming at the kids. I pray that I would someday have a soft spot for those cute little running monsters and this year I had had the opportunity to really mingle with them. I realised all these while I just have no idea how to mix with them, communicate with them since I am too serious most of the time and it just feel really akward to be around them. I yearn to frolick around with them most of the time but I just do not know how to break that barrier between me and the kids! God arranged that over the long holiday I would obtain a job as a teacher. Initially I applied for a job at my secondary school and then widen my options to primary school. I did not get any call until when it was almost time for me to leave for university again in July. But, I did manage to secure a job at two local tuition centres as a part time teacher and had the opportunity to teach classes with students ranging from 5-year-olds to middle age uncles and aunties! It was indeed a great experience. At first, it was very akward but over the time I was surprise at how easy it had become to be just like them, to communicate with them. It became a joy and something to anticipate as I teach 7 days a week. If anything, I felt that they had taught me more than I had taught them. They helped me searched for that part of me that I thought was lost during all those years of surviving primary and secondary school. They helped me find that child in me and taught me to be carefree and innocent. When they come up to you and tell you that you are the best teacher they had, you just feel all warm and fuzzy inside. When they walked out of the class being more knowledgeable and in some case a happier person, you feel the joy and satisfaction that you were able to touch their life. I manage to talk to an 8-year-old little boy who always wear a frown and always sitting quietly to himself. Although he never really respond to me, imagine the happiness I felt when he started to laugh and smile and play with his friends after a few months, not to mention becoming more cheeky after that. Then there was that little boy of ten. He would never do his work and had a thousand and one things to say. He is very michievous and the nightmare of all the teachers that had ever taught him. They gave up on him and they warned me about him, telling me to bring a cane into the class. I thank God for His guidance for I had never had to bring a cane into the class while I teach. Everytime I worry about something else, He would show me the way. So, back to the little rebel. I felt that there was part of him which is screaming for attention. Truly, he was an angel as I got to know him, as innocent as any other little boys. Imagine the shock when the principal came into the class one day ready to scold him and make him do his work as usual, to see him sitting quietly in his place, writing furiously away, always the first to pass up his homework and classwork. I beam with pride for he was my special little boy. Another big rebel of 13 was assigned into my class at another centre. His mom was a rough spoken lady and had to pushed him to attend classes with harsh words even when the whole world was watching. And so, the boy also spoke like his mother, rough and very rebellious. With his earrings and empty bag, I remember cringing when he entered my class on his first day. Nevertheless, I gave him a kind but firm smile and asked him to take a seat. As expected, he picked the seat right at the back of the room where plenty of seats are available in front. He did not want to do his work, he never answer when I asked him questions. It was over all a frustrating session. I do not know what push me to talk to him in such a manner but I got him to come with me at the end of the lesson and I talk to him. Again, God put words in my mouth so I could say appropriate things to this little rebel. After that little talk we had, I expect him to be the same, teenager being teenager. But the next class we had together and the many subsequent ones brought surprises! He no longer sit at the back but slowly shift forward, session by session. He would finish his work first and the only one to answer with a loud and affirmative voice everytime I question the class! Praise the Lord! Truly, I believe this is the grace and blessings from our Father in Heaven. I had had the opportunity to join the Disciple Class for the first half of the year during my holiday and it was indeed a great experiece. Much like a reminder of God to me to continue to thirst for His Words and that there are a lot more for me to learn. I manage to gain back my curiosity and my want-to-know-more attitude after a few classes. I regretted not paying attention in the beginning for I had no idea what was going on. But my pastor was right, it did wonders for my spiritual well-being after that. I did learn more about His Words and know that there are much more to be learn. For the new year, I hope I would finally fulfil my goal of reading the whole bible in a year. Then, there was our Christmas Evangelistic Night held just 2 weeks back. It had been planned by the fellowship in university for a long time and we were glad that it was carried out as plan. The fellowship is very important to me as it is where I find peace and support week after week being away from home and family. It is indeed our family in university. I was in charge of the ushering committee along with Bro. Lawrence. Being a banana as I am, I was assigned lighter task, finding ushers for the event and also designing and making the bookmark. I was very lucky to work with Bro. Lawrence as he did most of the work (making pamphlets, forms, bulletins) without grumbles. Silly me did make a mistake when I wrote the chinese verse on the bookmarks wrongly and no one realise until everything was done. It was a stressful time for me as the event was just 2 days away then and there was not enough time to redo for the lack of materials! I was also having my exam then along with other members. In the end, everyone was kind enough to help as they printed out the verse, cut it nicely and paste it one by one on the 200 bookmarks the night before the event! God’s grace is always sufficient for all of us! I was also involved in the body worship lead by Sis Evelyn. There were many obstacles along the way as we all had exams during that period and some of the members were back in their hometown after their exam for 2 weeks! We managed to finish choreographing and practising in 5-6 sessions! During that time, many miracles happen in our life which contribute to the ability to finish learning the dance steps and stage the performance on that night. I also join the choir and shared my testimony after much doubts. I could hear God saying “Go” but I was not sure then and one day I just picked up my courage and picked up the phone to send a text to a sis in the planning committee. I was very stressed at first. It was not easy to do it in front of a crowd consisting of many non-believers and it was nothing I had done before. It took a lot of strength and courage to stand up there and to write a script(to make sure I don’t talk for too long). I was at my wits end I remembered while writing that script. I was fearful of how others would look at me, that they will judge me that I broke down many time during the process. Everytime, there would be supportive and caring brothers and sisters there for me. On the day of the first rehearsal, I was pushed so far by the time limit and the script I just broke and cried in exhaustion. I prayed and asked for guidance and managed to put together a concise script in less than an hour and words just flow out without me having to think much. Writing it all out right now helps me to see the things that God has done in my life this whole year. I was upset when I discovered during all these years of hiding behind the hurts and pains, I had lost myself, lost my identity and to my horror, I have no idea who I am. I felt that I do not know who I really am. By the time I finished with my testimony, I finally realised and start to discover the me within, who I really am and learn to embrace and love that me. I try to become a more outgoing person (go into hyper mode at time but I guess that is just part of me), feeling more at ease with myself and being around people, something which I have trouble with and is truly trouble by that matter. So maybe to some I may seem like a nutcase, talking too much , mumbling nonsense and laughing at the littlest thing for too long, I am just embracing life, making peace with myself and living a life of the me I never knew I had within. I am tired of being drag by the dark past I had. I have an association with that past and I am going to use it properly, possibly to touch the life of others and not to pull myself down. 2010? Here I come and I am ready for another year of blessings and walk with my Lord! How about you? (obviously there is much more to be shared but I can’t fit everything in here. God’s blessings are of abundance ay? Have a blessed New Year everyone!) -Child of God- 0 comments |
