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Child of God  ~[Lily Soon] ~Belongs to God. ~I don't bite. ~Music is beautiful. Here & There Talk To Me Definition of Love Love is kind It does not envy It does not boast It is not proud It is not rude It is not self-seeking It is not easily angered It keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil But rejoices with truth It always protects Always trusts Always hope Always perserveres Love never fails) 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 God's Words Pray with Me -Sister's spiritual growth -Auntie Christina Sim's health & healing -Developing countries -Spiritual growth -Knowing what God has in plan for me -Relatives to know about Christ -Gift of Giving -Studies -Health and well-being of family -Discipline and focus in goals -Perserverence in reading the bible daily Bros & Sis<3 Aimst Fellowship Crystal Bian Bian Lily姐 小云姐 Teddy哥哥 Alex^^ Jasper Max Mic Mic Shi Yi Edith Val Yee Loi Larry Joy Kelvin C Kawaii Kevin Evelyn Felicia Jacinta Rome Serenne Lawson Blogs I Read Yuu~Chan Vain Kenny Xiu Wen Fai Fai Stephy Vincent Joey Shaunnie Christine Baby Bear(Li Ann) Papa Bear(Zhang Huai) Amelia^^ Angeline(Dolphin) Clement Yi Cheng Zhi Hui Rachael Kuan Wen Wei Lian Have a Look Cheesie Xia Xue Vivian Su Ann May Zhee Jessica Peggy Yan Wen Dawn Nira Gwendolyn Cai Weii Esther Pei Yeeng Feisty Charmaine Michelle Justice4BengHock YMI Isabella Chukei-Baby Let bygone be bygone. July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 October 2010 March 2011 |
Wednesday, May 28 ( Disabilities.... @ 19:09:00 ) Now, listening to songs on lappie, on-lining with Sha darling who apparently is getting quite annoyed by the complexity of changing her layout + slow connection = disaster... Hehe... Been slacking lately, thus skin deteriorating.. >.<... My face look like the surface of moon now, so sad~ I had been down with some virus for more than a week now. Was so sick, couldn't get myself up from bed to go to class yesterday morning. I hate being sick..=( Apparently, the "doctor" at the clinic diagnosed me with viral fever (Hello doc, I just said I felt feverish, not that I really have fever!-Yeah right, trust my life into their hands and hope to die *staggers*) Now feeling kind of crappy, you know, the usual floating sensation and being surrounded by dense cloud of something that tired you. I just got the good old flu I guess... My mouth seems to develop a sense of thickness and bitterness sets in and now it feels that I had had some pills stuck in my throat, not a good sign. Miss lunch today as I choose to sleep in during lunchtime and broke my lunch date with Sha! Sorry dar, I am a pig, I admit...=( Mic Mic is away in Labuan for Matriculation now and didn't reply my message.. Owh well *shrugs* perhaps the poor dear got caught up in stuff in uni ya... All the best darling. *hugs* Wondering how is Louisa getting on in Australia and how Gracey is doing in Singapore, I do miss them lots! And the fact that I did not meet up with Larry and Nick and Ezra is devastating-when I hadve the chance. And and and and I really felt sad as I did not meet up with Cheng~!!!! Miss him terribly too! Felt so dumb to did not give him a farewell hug when I had the chance. Owh well, I did not bring myself to do a lot of things anyway, like how I keep shunning away from the special someone whom I know I like and keep telling myself it's impossible.. Dumbie me... God will provide ya?^^ I shall just see what God gives me... For now, happy memories and photos?  How I look today...  Holiday, surprise visit from cuzzie and her cute doggie! I rikeesss..ruff!  My first Starbucks^^  A taste of nightlife in Kuching...  Just being vain..... -Xiao Ni- More photos later!!Going for dinner now with Sha!^^ 1 comments Monday, May 26 ( One Week @ 23:07:00 ) Holiday was really unexpected, called it God's perfect timing, meeting up with Mic Mic before she went away to Labuan for Matriculation Programme, and call it perfect timing when God called Grandma back to Heaven when Ah Hong Gor Gor and me were having our sem break and back in Sarawak. On Wednesday morning while I was still in bed, mom came in bringing me a tall glass of soya milk and I drank, gave mom a hug and went back to sleep until 10am, mom came in waking me up, she was in tears. Deep inside, I knew what had happened, my heart skipped a beat. I can't deny that at that moment I still cling to a glimmer of hope that she will be alright... I got up and start packing my stuff, throwing any dark clothes I could find into the small bag and packing sis' bag at the same time. I still managed to remain calm and did not shed a drop of tear. I was surprised I could be so strong. The only fear that I have then was her salvation. Then, I rushed to fetch sis' from school and there was a hulabaloo going to Mom's mom house, my other grandma to send her our supposedly lunch and dad went to the immigration office to settle some stuff, then we were on our journey back to Sibu. Sis was sobbing and as I sat in the car, looking at the roadside, as if zooming pass, I dug deep into the back of my mind, digging out the precious memories that i had had with my grandma, how she used to carry me when I was young and how we went for outing together to a place call "opposite river" in chinese and there were horses, evening sun, bridge, see-saw and swings. How she used to come to my house all the way from Sibu and her yellow brown handbag, how she told my mom that I had been climbing up the roof, how I cling to her while taking photo, her wrinkled face and her beautiful smile. The sense of nolstagia rushed through my nose, making me feel sick-realising how much I miss and love her. Tears start coursing down my cheeks then. Upon arriving, we saw white cloth and people burning hell money and mom broke into a sob and as if the time froze, I slowly walked into the house and my worst fear came true. There she was, lying on the cardboard-laid wooden planks . Still, very still, and cold, like the tiled-floor. A pink cloth had covered her head to toe. My heart felt so sour and it must had broke or corroded. More tears. I was passed a josstick which I absent-mindedly took and stood in a metal tin filled with sand without doing anything with it. Then mom asked if we dare to see grandma and she opened the cloth and we cried more. Dad must be devastated, after all, it is his mother and I know how dad loves grandma. After that, it was a whirlwind of people visiting, paying their respect, burning of hell money, folding of hell money, more crying, some laughter and late-nights of burning jossticks and keeping the candle alight. That was the first day and night, we had to go through Grandma's belongings which was not much. She was really a neat lady. Everything was so neat and tidy. It broke my heart to sort her things. My heart felt as if it was going to stop beating. The second day was when grandma was suppose to be transfer into her coffin. It was tough and there was more tears. Her daughters, daughter in laws, granddaughter and great-grandaughters stayed in to cleaned her and helped her changed into her clothes. Then the ritual of transfering her into her "big house" and there was chanting of prayers by some people from the temple. Me and sis were fidgeting so much, feeling so uncomfortable in the situation , nevertheless, we never followed the prayers and we just did what others did like walking and kneeling. Then nightfall, it was more folding of hell money and getting ready things for the funeral procession on nthe third day. On the morning of the funeral, it rained heavily at first and the electricity was cut off. Miraculously, the rain subsided and the air was cool even with the sun high in the sky. God answered my prayer for good weather. Thank God also for providing a band to perform for the procession, it was grandma's request. All the BB and GB are busy for exam and I was quite dissapointed by some of their attitiude for being so unhelpful and rude when we were in difficult times. I was truly dissapointed and heartbroken by these so called brothers and sisters in Christ. However, there were also those who are very helpful and I thank God for them. However, everything went well at the funeral. My heart felt wrenched out of my chest that day. Albeit, I learnt a lot that day... Overall, it had been a tiring and sad week for me. Not much of a holiday but still, i am grateful to God, for all his plans and timings...Now I am back in uni, starting term 2, and more ready to do well, this time, a little more determined and a little more discipline perhaps, we will see.. And Grandma, I still do love you. The memories that we share may never fade. I will remember your sweet smile and your gentleness until the end of time. How you are so soft-spoken, how your smile sparkle, how you love and how I love you... -Xiao Ni- 0 comments Tuesday, May 20 ( Back at Home! @ 20:21:00 ) It is a nice change after 2 weeks of studying and non-sleeping.. Now, its all ice-cream and sleep for one whole week!^^ Poor mommy and daddy are so busy workig everyday though..=(...So no time to pei me walk around for now lor... Kinda sad but kinda kelian them everyday so busy slaving away..Sometimes I wonder, if me going to uni is a great burden for them... Sighzz.. I must work hard next year to at least pay my one sem fee...^^ I can de!!! For now, must enjoy my holiday to the maximum and strive hard for the upcoming term!^^ TATAZ!! I am missing Drey and Ruqi much much~...Especially missing Sha darling..sighz..her internet is fried..mine's too..onlining with desktop..see ya all!!! -Xiao Ni- 0 comments Tuesday, May 6 ( It Has Been A Year @ 03:42:00 ) Looking back, I smirked at my naive-ness thinking how my first love will be my only love. Too bad, things don't work that way. I regretted getting into relationships. Given the choice I will have choose not to be involve in any relationships. If only I could turn back time... Nowadays, getting into relationship, the first thing that crossses my mind will be, will this last and will this guy be the guy to whom will I walk up to at the aisle on my wedding day, is this a guy whom I can trust my whole future to? It's difficult to imagine so...Being a coward and having fear of failure, I choose to crawl in my comfort zone, just being single and staying that way-not that I have a choice or do I? Last night, when I was feeling a tad bit unwell, suddenly, memories that I had tried suppressing since my last relationship, the feeling and the senses came back to me. I was laying on bed, lazying with Audrey telling me briefly about The Jungle Book and how we started talking about fairy tales... Brought back memories of how I used to force him to tell me a story before I sleep. How he held my hand,tuck me in, kissed me gently on my forehead before closing the door slowly behind him before leaving as I nap on after a tiring morning at school...The smell of his cologne hung in the air... The scent that I learn to love for the first time in my life. I am actually glad it's over. If it had end any later, we would end up hating each other. I just want good memories with him as I really learned to love someone and myself this much for the first time in my life. Don't get me wrong, I don't miss him or love him anymore. He got a girlfriend to do that now. The only thing I miss now I guess is the idea of a beautiful relationship and having someone to tuck me into bed, to hold my hand and sing lullaby to me until I sleep. Someone that stays with me until I am really sound asleep, just to accompany me, to give me a sense of security. You know how people are always looking for their perfect boys and perfect girls? I admit that I do, but come on.. I myself is far from perfection, full of flaws and just not the lovable type of girl. Which guy would love a girl who scream and just go crazy at time? What type of guys would go for a girl that is fat like me? What type of guys would want a girl who like to jungle-trek and get all dirty and sweaty? Who will want a girl that stop to talk to stray cats and dogs on campus and get all wet in the heavy rain just to carry all the new-born pups to a sheltered place so they won't get sick? Which guy will like a loud girl, outgoing and loud at times but anti-social the next? Which guy falls for a girl that is brave to voice her opinion and who is clumsy? Which guy would love that girl-love me? No one I think. I am just different, difficult... I am just not the type of plain jane from next door-ish kind of girl. I am loud, clumsy, noisy, crazy and plain silly. I can't help it and I won't change in any near time. I am just comfortable being me...  A girl whose face is like the surface of the moon? How I have wrinkles at the age of 18??  The one who still love furry pens?  And camwhore in a paper igloo and penguins make from styroform at a children's science fair?  One who has weird face shape unlike girls like dawn yang, vivian and nira?  nd one with eating disorder but still look like a hipo? I don't really love myself...*sighz* 1 comments Sunday, May 4 ( 爱在那里？ @ 02:29:00 ) 我终于明白了。这一切都是必要度过的每一天。就是要我记得祂的船在，祂的大能。要我一直的依靠祂来度过一切。生活里的点点滴滴是我们每一个人都要面对的。经理过那么多，发掘自己开始慢慢的长大，陈守了。开始学会了镇么去处理问题。 我开始接受我不再是那个三岁的小女孩了的事实了。不能够一切都依靠这妈咪和爸爸了。做错了事，别人不会再那么容易得去原谅。刚刚出来面对着常人的世界比我想象中还难。因该的学习适应，独力。之前，我太依靠身边的人。一次又一次的然我失望。去关心的人却不关心我。一个只会然他伤心的她，在他的心里的地位比我还要高！好失望。看到他一天一天的变，变成一个我害怕的人，变成一个很令我失望的人，态度也来也差的他，我的心都碎了。我感到自己很没用，输给了恶魔。伤心的我，也慢慢的想开了。我不再去管这些了。只希望他有一天会清醒，好好的看看自己。 不及不觉，自己改变了很多。我看到上帝要我依靠祂。主啊，你是我在伤心时最大的安慰。我知道有你在，我不会孤单的一个人。离家人那么远，上帝还是陪伴着我，永不离开。 今天，突然想到一些歌词，希望真的能够写出来，荣耀上帝的名。 主的爱， 就像阳光， 带来温暖， 带来希望。 想到多一点在写哦！ 现在要念书咯！大家晚安！还有要记得耶和华祝福满满哦！ -小妮- 0 comments |
