Child of God
Child of God




~[Lily Soon]
~Belongs to God.
~I don't bite.
~Music is beautiful.
Here & There



Talk To Me





Definition of Love


Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud
It is not rude
It is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices with truth
It always protects
Always trusts
Always hope
Always perserveres
Love never fails)

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

God's Words



Pray with Me


-Both parents salvation
-Sister's spiritual growth
-Auntie Christina Sim's health & healing
-Developing countries
-Spiritual growth
-Knowing what God has in plan for me
-Relatives to know about Christ
-Gift of Giving
-Studies
-Health and well-being of family
-Discipline and focus in goals
-Perserverence in reading the bible daily



Bros & Sis<3


Aimst Fellowship
Crystal
Bian Bian
Lily姐
小云姐
Teddy哥哥
Alex^^
Jasper
Max
Mic Mic
Shi Yi
Edith
Val
Yee
Loi
Larry
Joy
Kelvin C
Kawaii Kevin
Evelyn
Felicia
Jacinta
Rome
Serenne
Lawson

Blogs I Read


Sha:D
Yuu~Chan
Vain Kenny
Xiu Wen
Fai Fai
Stephy
Vincent
Joey
Shaunnie
Christine
Baby Bear(Li Ann)
Papa Bear(Zhang Huai)
Amelia^^
Angeline(Dolphin)
Clement
Yi Cheng
Zhi Hui
Rachael
Kuan Wen
Wei Lian

Have a Look


Kenny Sia
Cheesie
Xia Xue
Vivian
Su Ann
May Zhee
Jessica
Peggy
Yan Wen
Dawn
Nira
Gwendolyn
Cai Weii
Esther
Pei Yeeng
Feisty Charmaine
Michelle
Justice4BengHock
YMI
Isabella
Chukei-Baby

Let bygone be bygone.


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MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Tuesday, July 31

( Angel Of Spring @ 17:54:00 )

Hey guys! I am going to post up a story that I had written sometime ago in various parts.^^ So, stay tune for the story. It is entitle "Angel Of Spring". Yes, it's this essay that I had written that got me inspire to name my blog after the story. I hope you will like it.^^

***
He wept in silence as the angel flew back to Heaven where she belongs. Beautiful as the spring but also as temporary. But, she will never come back durin spring next year or any other spring after this. She is gone forever. Suddenly, the windows of Heaven open and bring forth a drizzle, on an evening of the ending spring, as if accompanying the tears in his eyes. he whispered "I love you" under his breath and walk away. he know that he will love her forever. "My angel", he cried.....
That winter, Natasha and Sean broke up. The 7-months difficult relationship finally ended after causing countless of miseries to them both, Natasha especially. The cold and bitterness of the winter seems to suit the feelings of them both. Natasha had been lucky for the pass relationship with Mike was also broken up by others, ridiculously, his mother. This time, Sean said the word and that was that. No turning back like before. Natasha had come to know that a lot more people appreciate and love her after the camp. She decided that it was also best asSean was tormenting her and they are just from two very different worlds. She had always been displeased and hurt by Sean aggresive ways, but somehow, her soft-heartedness ruled her and she did not voice out her desire to end the relationship. Sean had harassed her mentally and physically. She was very troubled and it did no good to her. Several time, she committed suicide to escaped from her problems but to no avail. Sean was just adding to her burden. No, Sean was her main problem. thinking back, it must be due to Sean's family. There were domestic violence and no love at all. He was also a problem child. He is ill-mentally, if that is not the word to describe him, then, he is an insane pervert. He harassed her sexually as well and had forced her times after times to make love but Natasha managed to stay firm and refuse every time. It was also the main reason that they always squibble. the break-up had seemed like a blessing from God. She decided to leave the darkness and walk into the light. No regrets........

To be continue......

Sneek peak : .......Harry had had feelings for her........He show her the way out........meet her love, her last love in her life, and when she does, her heart leaped with joy......

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Monday, July 30

( Overripe Plum @ 22:20:00 )

Here I am once more, patheticly wasting my time due to my laziness. Ahh,how good will it be to be totally barbaric and uncivilised, scraping food from the jungle lifes, living in cave like the prehistoric men. No school and no homework. Sinking my teeth in the sweet overripe plum that had gone soft, my mind is totally shut down. Having a headache and feeling tired. At the corner of my brain I know that I am suppose to be sticking to my mental "schedule" because exam is starting next week!!! Common papers. bummer. I am suppose to be studying Biology now instead of eating and blogging. geez wheeze, i do wonder when would I be more discipline and do what I really intend to do. I have a book of literature to copy, (i lost my notebook), I have long due Add Maths exercises about some binomial distribution nonsense which i seems to be a complete alien to me and theres 15 sentences to construct for BM, my English workbook is still blank, The moral exercises for tomorrow markings are still undone and the essay that the teacher expect me to pass up tomorrow for some contest is not even drafted yet. I am looking for inspiration. Something about environmental conservation. Goodness gracious, i don't even know the rule and regulations or anything. The only thing I got from the teacher is the theme and the day to pass up. I think I am going to be a disspointment once more. But I think all of us got use to it allready eh? ;-) Well, I will have to start with my essay and go to bed. Real tired! Tata~

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Thursday, July 26

( Fallen leave @ 14:30:00 )

It had been a downright depressing day. If Nicholas had seen me earlier on, he would have konk me for telling him how to be happy when I myself was on fire and so down in the dumps. Why is it depressing you may ask. Well, try entering a class which the teacher is totally a bias-egoistic-arrogant-lazy-clueless-irresponsible and have him slam door into your face just as you are about to enter the class for absolutely no reason at all just to see our reaction. That is just the factor that volcanies erupted yesterday. Today, as expected, he was furious and start throwing temper. He ripped off the paper at the back of the lab and tore it into pieces in his midst of fits. Then, he throw the books and slam the table for so many times while throwing threats and insults at us. I was certain he was going to beat us up-luckily he did not. If he did, I will make sure our parents sue his sorry butt off. I mean, even a child know the theory of owning up to mistakes they make. He knew, but never practic it. Pushing the faults on us is not the way. Just think of it. Be responsible for what you had done and think before you say. Based on what had came out of your mouth, the education department have the right to sack you. We had been respectful to you and give you chances. But you never appreciate it, I guess. What with the pronographic stuff in your computer files and what you do, You are not qualified to be call a teacher. And no, we won't take back our words and apologise to you in front of the PK1 for we did not do anything wrong to you. WE were speaking the truth. I think it is you who owe us an apology. Yes, and we don't need your so call blessings. We will remember that it is not your first time, that these phrase come out of your mouth. We remember oh-so-vividly. (Kelas, I don't care, You fail or whatever. I sudah ambil saya punya SPM, sudah kerja, ada sijil, tapi you....) Just be a real MAN and own up and admit it. You know you never try and you know you did wrong. We all do wrong sometimes. The only thing is that we dare own up but you are too coward to do so. We are more dissapointed of you than you are of us.

After school, standing by the road side, the dovoid feeling still hung in my deep heart's core. There is that depressing feeling cause by the outburst. As I looked up the sky, I saw a dead brown leaf fall onto the brown instead of the lush green trees. I saw the grey sky and the cloud were almost invisible against the dull sky. I had always turn to nature when I felt sad. It pacify me but not today. Even those happiness elements of nature seems to be against me today. I sighed again. The suffocating smell of fume seem stronger as the breeze blow gently. I was lost in my thought. Suddenly, I turn around, just to find a patch of navy blue sky right behind me. with bellowing clouds that are as white as snow. I smile. I look futher seawards and saw the soft baby blue sky faraway, admidst the lush forest of green trees. The yellow,and green leaves make put a smile on my face and in my heart. I could almost smell the saltiness of the sea and the sea breeze blowing right then, right there. It could not have been better. It had make what seems to be the most depressing day seems most spectacular. Thank you God, for showing me the way, the path and It is great comfort to know that You are always there for us, on our side. We knew we do the right thing. Thank you for such a great day. I love you as much as you love me.

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Wednesday, July 25

( negaraku @ 16:35:00 )

Guys, check this out! This video had been entertaining me for hours! First time I love our national anthem so much,.ow I wish we can sing this at assembly instead. You may have watch it before. I have watch this video repeatedly for so many times. This morning before going to school, I on the computer and listen to it again. I was wide awake the whole day despite the fact I was listening to this until 1 am last night.. =X.That's how good I think it is-in my opinion! Yeah!!!! That guy is my hero!!!!!!!!!

P.s

XERONE, get well soon!!!take care..dun gaming liao...hohoho...sick jor, no need gaming liao..

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Saturday, July 21

( Updates! @ 22:16:00 )

Sorry guys! for the lack of updates. Had been busy with practices..;-) and stuff. Just back from the church and in good mood!^^ we watch a documentary tonight for Mission Night! It really touch me and I am more than determine to work hard for my upcoming SPM. I am going to fast on my online hours and of course those procrastinating and fattening stuff! Wish me luck!

Geez wheez.. mom gave me a cute computer mouse. GREAT! cos:
1) it is an optical mouse. (i am tired of roller type mouse.)
2) it has liquid in them with cute stuff floating inside the transparent body of the mouse!!!!!!
3) It got pretty blinking and changing bright neon LED inside! I lurrve lights!!!

That's all. I want to go do my homework, more practice, my beloved book and sleep!

My blog is rated general viewing!!!!=p..I am so guai! HAhaha "guai"

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Monday, July 16

( Friends~ @ 22:50:00 )

I had watched Ming Ming's karaoke competition video today. The song that she sang with her friends really touched my heart. It was something to do with friendship. I almost cried. Anyways, they got 2nd in the competition! Congrats!^^ and they look good in my sis and my dresses.^^ (yeah, ming ming and her friend borrow our dresses)^^

HAd been feeling emotional the whole day through due to the song. In a few months time, a glimpse of an eye, it will be December. It would be my last year in secondary school. I was thinking how could I held back tears when I have to part with my friends whom I had grown so fond of? Especially those going overseas for studies like dearie zhi zhi? I will cry my heart out. Ah Ling? How about her? She will be going back to her hometown in Perak after SPM. I will miss her so much. Her presence in my life had cause such drastic changes in my life. Changes that are good.

I highly doubt that in pursuing tertiary education or working, we would be able to interact like at present time. Maybe we would lost contact and that's it. I feel very reluctant to part. How I wish I could stop the time at this moment and be with them.

Friends,
You guys are better than any boyfriends,
Your love overwhelmed,
You care,
You were always there for me,
At time of difficulties and sadness,
You never left my side,
Offer your shoulder for me to cry on,
And see me at my worse and still-
Your care to me did not cease.
Dear friends, I love you all...I never want to part..

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Sunday, July 15

( Farley Members' Day! @ 22:57:00 )

The supermarket where I used to work as before is having a 3 day Members' Day with lots of discounts and free gift! Yadda, yadda, yadda. If people live in Bintulu and Sibu is bound to know Farley Supermarket. Before the Park City Mall was built, it was the best and biggest place to shop! Hehe. Recently the supermarket even gave away a brand new Myvi for its shoppers' contest! ^^ Even though PM had made its way here in Bintulu, I still prefer to go to Farley due to its location and we are kind of used to the place. Imagine, my mom had been buying all our daily neccesities from Farley since we move to Bintulu in 1995. It is one of the best supermarket i have seen before with many hundreds if not thousands of shoppers patronising it everyday even after all these years. So, these 3 days it was especially packed by perople to the extent that it was even difficult to get to the you wanted to go in the supermarket. I did not go there during these 3 days. Today is the last day of the great offer and I had been terribly busy and missed shopping there. But, I did went just now and guess what?- yeah, I bought something from Voir. ^^ I could not part with Voir after being the Promoter during the holiday.^^


So, random pics ok?^^
























The face in the middle was suppose to be me. Mr. Alan a.k.a Physics teacher explaining that i repel guys.























Grandma, the hand that had care for me. I love you grandma. So much.. * took this pic when grandma was already in a more stable condition and asleep.
























View from the ward...




























That yellow sign from childhood. How long had it been?
































A day at the kindergarten that Ivy jie~ works at.



























The 2 cutie^^


































Grandma...

































Me and happy penny^^


































Practising in the toilet of Evryly Hotel. Lol. I am a bag stand!
































Me and the overall champion! Ee Lin a.k.a Chrys!

































Yeah, it was that stay-up-til 5 am night!

































From Voir! the dress that burn a hole on my pocket due to the courtesy of the Farley Members' Day. I am such a shopacholic and shopimaniac..whatever those words mean.


Tata~sleepy me~

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Saturday, July 14

( Yipee! @ 22:45:00 )

We had compete in the Malcom William's Trust Fund English Proficiency Contest this morning. I thought I had make a total blunder out of my self today. =( *bummer* I did not memorize my script for the second session and I totally blanked out on the 3rd last line of my poem. But overall, we did a great job! *winks*

So, results :
*drumrolls please*

Ehem ehem, hear ye hear ye, the result is out.
Our school bag The trophy for the Best School category!! ( to that teacher that mocked us, We are so not scare of you! It is of no use to be so bitchy to us and feeling so arrogant for we are bitchier and we were READY! blearkkk..=p) *triumphant smiles*
Overall winners of all categories went to Chrystal!!!ARFGGGGGGGHHHHH!!! SO happy! hehe^^Congrats Chryssie dear! I had known from the start that you are sure to be the champion! LOL
So, I got the champion under the Chinese/Indian category, *grins and shocked*
Amelia gurl got champion!!!!under the Malay/Melanau category!!! *grins till reach ears already)
Congrats girl!!!You did well!!
Sharifah got (2nd runner up?) for the Malay/Melanau team. ^^ Congrats gurl!
Gideon got the 3rd runner up for the Dayak/Orang Ulu category.
Overall, we had sent 6 participants and 5 of us went back with the individual prizes. ^^!!!!WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA
And out of 14 prizes we bagged 6 out af all! Yeah! We rocksss!!
So the lesson is, DO NOT provoke us, we are bitchy and we bite right back. Haha. So, don;t try that challenging and mocking tricks, it always works - For us to win!!! =p

* I will post up photos soon. Trying to get the photos and videos of the whole contest part 1 and 2. ^^ tata~

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Thursday, July 12

( Photo blog? @ 20:05:00 )

Well, today is another cold day and stormy evening. I heard news that the marketplace where fishmongers sell fish had had the roof blown off! @@#$%^&*(.. Wad the... So strong the wind in Bintulu? And a tree fell down and trapped a motorcyclist. See how serious am I when I mention about the violent wind in my last post. Well, today had been a tiring day and I am still having butterflies in my tummy. This morning while reciting my poem in the class next door, I was trembling and shaking, not due to my fascination of the poem but due to my nervousness. I would rather face the whole world of strangers than face those whom I know and will mocked me for what I am doing. Hmmphhh.... Practice after school tomorrow and fingers crossed for Saturday! Chrystal, Amelia, Peggy, Sharifah and Gideon! We need to fight fight fight to win that trophy! Best of luck to you all! ^^ We can do it!!!

I will post my photo blog in the next post!^^Got to go practice now!^^tata~~

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Wednesday, July 11

( Rainy Rainy Day~ @ 18:48:00 )

It's a queer and rare evening. The rain is still pouring outside but subsiding. Never in my life had I experience such strong winds. Dry leaves lying from the ground was send flying by the violent wind. The dark clouds were rolling nearer and nearer with an astonishing speed, that it seems almost supernatural. I was a sighing with relief that God had love me so, that he gave me a cloudy weather to walk back from school after the practice at school today. What with the Malcom William's English Proficiency Competition (Part 2) consisting of poetry recital and public speaking on Saturday. Yes, I have butterflies in my stomach. I had yet to perfect my script as a chairperson (thanks to the new format=.=") and I had never recite poems in my life-ever until today. I did not even go through the poem yet so I was daze when Mark asked me to recite it once over. I was truly amazed by the work that had to be done just to recite a poem (thinking that it is just the intonation and all). I should have known, with a genius like Mark, there is more to everything then what it seems. I learnt that poems have to be interpreted and understand, to find the hidden meaning, pronounciation and the use of archaic English. Bah! I wish I could have his brain or Su Ann's brain! Today, I highly doubt if Mark is a human. =.=" Great, not only is he a genius in music (diploma in piano, jump from grade 1 to 8 in less than a year for violin, 13A1s for SPM, write music, athlete and good ENGLISH?) Geezz, life is so unfair~.

Well, the rain had stop completely now. I feel so secure and comfy inside the house. With moist chocolate cake, freshly bake by mom this morning and a mug of cold fresh milk, i had tea for once. It is indeed a queer evening at home. All thanks to the recital of the highly-sophisticated-and-complex poetry recital of the poem entitled "Ozymandias"at school this afternoon. I am now getting cold feet. Really nervous about the competition and trying so hard but to no avail, to do well in something for once in my life. I am failing pathetically. Someone help me! I need brain!

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Monday, July 9

( Crossroads @ 18:20:00 )

Yes, we have walked and reach yet another crossroad. Baby,Your crisp voice over the phone, trying to make yourself be heard over the noise in the background, of laughter and loud music. I was only too sure of your whereabouts. Hands trembling and cold feet, I manage to say something and hung up. But, I decided that it had to be done. Everything seems to be okay and getting back to normal. The uncertainity that hung in the air, i could not endure any longer. I tried to get an respond, an answer-hopefully a positive ones. I forgot how you had hurt me because I really, truly love you. I thought it could be a turning point for us, with that U-turn so near in front of us. I knew that what I was about to do would make the whole thing collapse. The building of faith and love that had been build with so much torment and work but pulled down in seconds. Yes, there was tearing, just a few tears coursing down my cheeks and that was all. i kneel down and said a prayer aloud, alone in the room, wishing and asking that God would give me a chance-but maybe, just maybe, he thought what was best for me and make that decision. If given the chance, I would have rather not meet you so that my heart would not be slashed. The wound will heal one day, with the passing of time. I am learning to let go and growing stronger each day. After that call, I heard you over the line. i already predicted what you were going to say and calmly accepted it. You told me to erase all of our memories together and of you, and let go and pretend to be strangers. That we were from 2 totally different worlds. All your promises crushed completely like those buildings you had put up at work. Without strong foundation, it collapse. Maybe we lacked of foundation, foundation of friendship. Given the choice, i would not had accepted you as my beloved, I rather that I had never received those hugs and kisses and tender care of yours. Now, it would hung in my mind and my heart, haunting me and making me feeling dejected. I hate to have come to that crossroad, where we have to part and we let go of each others' hands and say goodbye. Thecrossroad we had walked before and you somehow manage to find a U-turn and now, we are faced with yet another crossroad. My legs feel heavy to trudge on my way while you skipped joyfully down the lane that you choose. I walked to the left and you, to the right. I did turned back and took a glimpse but you had already vanished out of my sight. All I saw was the evening sun setting, sygnifying an ending of a difficult and heart-wrenching relationship that was full of fire and romance at the start. It was beautiful like our love-as it was before. I now tried to wiped out all the negative and positive memories and thoughts of us. I feel free all of a sudden. The feeling had almost gone. There seems to be no more love. Now, i am certain as we part at this crossroad, we wil never cross paths ever again. i am letting go. This time, I am certain, there would not be another U-turn, needless to say, another crossroad with You. As the sun peep out from the horizon, the purplish yellowish and pink colour bite at the rising sun, a sense of serenity overwhelmed me, enveloping myself in peace. And i know, I will never ever called him baby. Maybe i will miss him at times but that is all. I realise that I have a long road to travel and I hope that one of these days, I would cross a path and there would be someone there who truly loves me and appreciates me and mean it, when he says "I love you".


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Sunday, July 8

( @ 21:17:00 )

Motorola L6^^

(extreme comedy and silliness ahead! beware!)







































































































































































































































I am terribly sorry for this silly joke. I am busy busy busy today and my eyes are closing. I had had a hectic day today. Sitting now with a bowl of icky and kinda yuckie avacado ice in front of me, which taste so weird it can make me puke and feeling nauseous due to the soursop juice I drank that day, i am feeling horrible now. Arghh.. i had just finish drafting my speech for next week competition and I had not even receive the poem for next week. My memory is extremely bad. i am wondering how am i going to be able to memorise my script, and poem by next Saturday morning? Huh? I don't even know HOW to recite poems! Blardy! The practice started today and it had already met many obstacles. praying hard that everything will turn out fine.I am too tired for problem-solving right now and i still have that Chemistry project which have to be hand-written and handed in by tomorrow morning. it is suppose to consist of 10% of our next exam. Bah! yeah, i am doing that again - procrastinating. Great. I am so doomed. It is one of such time that I wish he was here by my side, catching me in his embrace if I ever did fall. But that is the problem, he wanted me to be strong. (means if I fall down, I would have to get up on my own-tough luck) *sighz* Ok, I am going to stop my rambling here and start with my project after i hit the shower. Tata~ I really have to go and tell mom that the avocado ice suxxx, i do not want her to think that I like it so much that she keep on feeding me with it when i really really hates it. Like what she does with outting longans in chicken soup. Yucks! I know. I had this thing against making non savoury thing with sweet stuff. it makes me puke. I am going to say it in her face "Mom, the avocado ice really taste unpleasant(bad and horricible and vegetable.>.<)" or maybe not.

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Friday, July 6

( Update @ 22:31:00 )

Sorry for the lack of updates folks! I had been in Sibu since Tuesday. My grandma is sick again, hospitalised. Was rushed back to Sibu from school by my parents and sister. I promise to update by tomorrow evening after youth fellowship perhaps. Meanwhile, my mind is all jumbled up now. My sick grandma, that uncertainity is still hanging in my mind, and the essay writing competitio for tomorrow morning has begin to has its effect on me-cold feet and the feeling of nausea, the meeting tomorrow morning after the competition for the upcoming directors, the probability of me napping in tuition class tomorrow afternoon, the fact that I had not memorise my Evangelism Explosion Outline for tomorrow MJYF, my unwritten testimony for baptism class on Sunday, my puffy eyes due to lack of slee[ the few days in Sibu, the sketch for Sunday school and my ushering timetable clashing together, my speech for chairperson part in the competiton and poem for next Saturday is not done yet, my script for public speaking for school English Week had not been memorise, my inability in perfecting my language usage, tomorrow night's Rotary Club Installation Dinner- as the best Interact Club will be announced *fingers cross* Remember, "Rotary Four Way Test, fellow Rotarians. We want justice .. *ehem ehem ehem* , then there is the dance rehearsal this Sunday evening for the next few Sundays. I hope the dancers are committed and I am very very pissed off now as one of the dancer had withdrew. I had expected that from the start.-from my sis' friend- what can I expect? *smug smile + triumphant laughter* I am so going to imperialise her! Anyways, this few days in Sibu had got me stiff and fatter I guess. *I am not exagerating. It's true!* How am I going to catch up?. Arghh, Detox time! Detox Deox Detox and more slimming cream! What brand is better? I am currently using Cosmoderm. It is quite effective but I want something with more vigorous results. I don't have forever *rolls eyes* And I need something to clear my mind. Sighzzz.. I am feeling the pressure with SPM just a stone throw away. With every bringing up of the subject SPM, I feel like throwing up! *It's true* . I really have to work hard!

Note to self : stop procastinating, start with revision even though they are boring, stop wasting your time online, stop chatting, listen moe to teachers, throw that idea of romance faraway and that plan for after SPM. that is what it is, after SPM. Think about it after SPM. Bah~ I need discipline. I need a coach and tutor and a discipline teacher with a big whip. *trembles* on the otehr hand, I can manage myself. Okie, tata~ More uodates and please do pray for my grannie well-being. Grandma, I love you! Please wait for me after SPM. I promise to spend time with you. I promise.

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Monday, July 2

( Scents @ 14:02:00 )

It's one of those lazy afternoon, where I sit my lazy bums down on that plushy blue chair, procrastinating. While the sweltering weather outside is enough to make one melt, I am contributing to the green house phenomenon by having the air-cond at full blast. The chloroflurocarbon gas that I had contribute to the atmosphere by having the air-conditioner on most of the time and the usage of air freshener does not seems to be able to patched up for me throwing rubbish in the rubbish bin everyday. Maybe this even seems hypocrital?

Well, on afternoons like this, fond memories that are stored in the subconscious mind seems to flash itself back over and over in my mind. I realised that most of my memories are being related to senses. Mostly scents and smells. Our nose and scents around us are miraculously harmonise it seems. Scents can let us sense danger, security, familiarity, or even that sense of nolstagia, giving us that block nose feeling.

Sitting here now, with a piece of swiss roll half eaten in from of me, the sweet delighting smell brings back the memories of those afternoons when I sit in that favourite small tea-shop of mine, having chocolate triple cheesecake that seems to melt in my mouth, trigerring my taste-bud and sending me to seventh-heaven on a delicate piece of china plate alongside a glass of freezing cold latte with extra cream and froth-just the way I like it. The warm smell of freshly baked muffins and cakes wafted from the tiny kitchen separated from the outer part of the shop by a tinted glass wall with brilliant colours of the rainbow, providing a cheerful and warm atmosphere, perfect for finishing up those romance novels that I did not have time to read after flipping throught the first 5 pages. I miss those quiet afternoons alone.


The scent of mom's cosmetics and cream seems heavy in the air especially during night time and in the morning when she got ready for work seems like a part that is inseparable from mom, and contribute to a small part of "mom-ness". The feeling give me a warm and happy feeling that make me feel as if I could jump up of bed in the morning and tranquil me to go to sleep at night. The smell stays until now. it's on her clothes, her pillows and her bed. I used to ran into my parents' room when mom is getting ready for work and snuggle in her neatly-made bed after dad had went out to work. The smells hung in the air, making the room feel so fresh and energetic and i remember how mom would shooed me out of the room even when I insist on staying there longer. It seems like yesterday but the truth is that it had been a few years since I last did that. And I misses those moments too.

Scents surely do bring back many memories of the past. The smell of dust as I rode at the back of the motorbike back from school indicate a construction nearby and the sweet aroma of freshly bake muffins in the oven means we are having freshly baked-muffin for teatime. The smell of belachan-induced green veges had my mouth watered after a long morning at school. It had been a while since I had had one of those shrimps dishes due to my intolerant to several types of seafood. Even during my childhood, I remember the smell of innocence, those days when I would be delighted when mom brought back butter cookies from the supermarket while running her errands.

And now, while missing that somebody, I am again reminded of the tenderness of you hugging me tight, and kssing me gently on my lips. The scent of you on those exam's afternoons where I would fall asleep on my bed in the midst of piles of books and you would came in quietly, planting a kiss on my forehead and then gently waking me up so you could tucked me in bed for a short nap before a long evening revising for the next day history papers. Also reminding me of that particular afternoon, our first and only time at my favourite ice-cream shop. The coldness at the back of the throat when the my chocolate ice-cream melts is not felt as the warmth of your body could be felt as you sit close by me. You were having wine ice-cream that afternoon. I remember clearly, as I fed you my ice-cream, we broke into giggles at some silly jokes. It's that cologne smell of yours that makes me think of you and send a surging sense of warmth and security into my body everytime. And I don't even know the name of that cologne because you never tell me even when I asked. Right now, i can smell your scent, that scent is just part of you and part of us. Uncertainty hungs in my mind but I hope for the best. *fingers cross*

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Sunday, July 1

( The Strangers @ 19:59:00 )

Today's hectic life style causes us to drift further into so-called modernisation. BUT, in the process, we do not realise that in gaining the comfort and luxury we are losing the basic enjoyment in life, those little things that are easily ignored and taken granted for. I miss my childhood days of the bygone, where mom would always get ready those favourite snacks of mine every afternoon after I woke up from my nap which would always be accompany by a bottle of Ribena which I would eagerly drink from the milk bottle while trying to go to sleep. Or those mornings before i went to school, she would prepare my breakfast and help me wear my shoes. Or those afternoons when dad would scold me and almost immediately reward me with a cone of my favourite ice-cream before he felt bad for making me cry. Little did I realise, these days were slowly fading and suddenly, I had stopped experiencing all these as mom and dad were even more busy in their work now then ever, having little time for me and my sister. I always complain about not having enough freedom. Sitting here now, I reflect back and found that I had had more freedom than most of my friend. I had had 3 boyfriends without my parent's knowledge-unless they knew it and act blur?which is highly impossible. I had sneaked out before and taken rides from my guy friends countless of time. That's the reason I would say that good girls are bad girls that does not get caught-yet.

Modernisation is what that had changed our childhood so much so that it is almost completely different than our fore fathers' and even our parents'. The generation Y today is experiencing even a larger gap in this difference. In the past, our parents' idea of fun was out of door, where they would explore the lush forests at the back of their house, take a swim in the river nearby with sparkling, cool and clear water or even climb fruit trees and stealing their neighbour's fruits just for the fun of it. This can hardly be imagined these days. I grew up in a wooden shack and then moved to a small 2-room flat. Most of the time, I was confined in a small 4-walled room with my toys and tricycles. Watching Hindi dramas with mom at 4pm after my nap and dad coming back for tea time would brought back jellies of various types and even cheddar cheese (I used to love eating cheese like that. Maybe that explain for my huge physique? =p). Even though we were living in poverty then, i remember that mom and dad would not give me anything lacking. I had had many toys, dolls and plastic cooking sets. I had at least one fish per day. I had their care and they stay up the whole night to look after me when I had had high fever one night. These prescious moments are vividly recorded in my mind and I doubted if I would ever forget. This is the moments that I missed very much.

Nowadays, kids have commitment-with tuition classes, school, piano lessons, drawing class, dance class and ecetera. The games that they play are those of electronic types, involving joysticks, keyboard and a screen. they sit in their room the whole day trying to control a small figure in the screen, and visited jungles, space or a mountain-all are just image in the screen. BUT, with the passing of time, the idea of walking in real forests like our parents once used to do seems quite ridiculous when there is no forest nearby and with the high crime rate especially kidnapping and murder, parents would be insane if they let their little ones roam about as they wish. Thus, in the process of protecting them, they are also depriving them of childhood pleasure and experience. However, they are not to be blame. Modernisation is to be blame. But without modernisation, could we survive? Giving up your television-Yes, missing that 4 o'clock soap opera, not owning an MP3 player, no computer-no blogging, friendster, chatting, no handphones-no smsing or calling up friends to gossip or go out for a "yumcha" session and no air-conds. For girls, no rebonding, no perming, no nail arts and no make-up. I know-OMG!

This is not the only thing that modernisation had brought changes to. It seems that we now know less people. (My context of know is not only knowing the name, but truly building a friendship and knowing that person very well). Our method of communicating and making new friends is trough the ever-popular friendster, msn messengers, ICQ(not so popular anymore) and emails. Chatting with strangers that we had yet to meet up with hardly fulfil that "true friends" criteria. I mean how many of this cyber friendships actually last for say up to even one year? Many a time, they are just "people" that just come and go in our life. And we quickly forget about them and make new ones. Nothing can compare to our real-life friends that we see almost everyday. But, there is a saying that it is diffuclt to love something or someone that we know very well of. This is very true in the sense that after a period of time, we begin to lost that "first good impression" and started to see their real behaviour rearing its' ugly heads. this is the time that we doubt and many a time would be surprise to find that they are not as 'perfect" as we think. From there, we will start to be hypocrite and find many unpleasant things about the other party, making it hard to love them as much as before. This, my friend could be overcome. We had always wanted the world to change, but have we ever think of changing ourselves first? Changing the perspective when we look at certain things in life? We should slow down a bit and take a good look around us in evryday life, only then would we see the blessings of life and those little pleasures and sense of fulfilment all around us. Maybe, just maybe, if you take a good look, taking a split second more to glimpse at those around us, we could know more and experience more, instead of forever walking with our heads down, looking at our shoes. Pick up pace when necessary and slow down at the right time. Get to know more people and extend your circle of friends. smile at that stranger that is crossing from the opposite side of the road and feel the bliss of those 2 elderly couple lovingly enjoying thier afternoon tea at the pavement, outside the cafe'. for when you slow down, everything seems to be more beautiful, because you take the time to appreciate and feel it. =)



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