|
Child of God  ~[Lily Soon] ~Belongs to God. ~I don't bite. ~Music is beautiful. Here & There Talk To Me Definition of Love Love is kind It does not envy It does not boast It is not proud It is not rude It is not self-seeking It is not easily angered It keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil But rejoices with truth It always protects Always trusts Always hope Always perserveres Love never fails) 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 God's Words Pray with Me -Sister's spiritual growth -Auntie Christina Sim's health & healing -Developing countries -Spiritual growth -Knowing what God has in plan for me -Relatives to know about Christ -Gift of Giving -Studies -Health and well-being of family -Discipline and focus in goals -Perserverence in reading the bible daily Bros & Sis<3 Aimst Fellowship Crystal Bian Bian Lily姐 小云姐 Teddy哥哥 Alex^^ Jasper Max Mic Mic Shi Yi Edith Val Yee Loi Larry Joy Kelvin C Kawaii Kevin Evelyn Felicia Jacinta Rome Serenne Lawson Blogs I Read Yuu~Chan Vain Kenny Xiu Wen Fai Fai Stephy Vincent Joey Shaunnie Christine Baby Bear(Li Ann) Papa Bear(Zhang Huai) Amelia^^ Angeline(Dolphin) Clement Yi Cheng Zhi Hui Rachael Kuan Wen Wei Lian Have a Look Cheesie Xia Xue Vivian Su Ann May Zhee Jessica Peggy Yan Wen Dawn Nira Gwendolyn Cai Weii Esther Pei Yeeng Feisty Charmaine Michelle Justice4BengHock YMI Isabella Chukei-Baby Let bygone be bygone. July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 October 2010 March 2011 |
Saturday, July 25 ( Feelings of Mine @ 10:06:00 ) Lying on my tummy, with every move, my body ache, threathening to come apart. As I look outside the window, through the mosquito netting, I saw clear baby blue sky and lush green trees. Clouds are scattered like waves rolling to the beach. I felt small, so very small and so very sorry for myself. Feeling sorry that I should be so ungrateful and immature, feeling sorry because I had let my emotions take control, feeling sorry that I let my mouth do the talking and not my mind, feeling sorry of how I took everything for granted. Feeling sorry because I don't live my life to the fullest and always complaining of everything. Feeling sorry because I felt sorry for myself... Fellowship yesterday was a boost to ease the pain of betrayal and acceptance of reality. Why am I complaining of being overweight and ugly when others are confined to the wheelchair or struck by a terminal disease? Why am I complaining that studies are tough when others are also going through the same thing, only much tougher and at a higher level? Why do I complain about how nobody cared when I have God by my side every single seconds of my life and with loving family? Sometimes, only during this emotional roller-coaster rides do I realise how ungrateful I am, how I had not been thankful enough to God for all He had given unto me, which is so much so that I can't even count them all. Every day is a blessing and I am learning how to be a more accepting and learning person. I am learning to run towards my goals without straying, learning how to stand on my own 2 feet and stop relying on others, learning how to do good and accept nothing of the same sort in return. When offering your kindness and care, and people just ignore you after the time of difficulty is tough, but it is part of life. I need to learn about life. It is amazing what we can find on the internet but I can't google "my life" and the whole paragraph or stories or pictures and videos will come out. I have so much things to learn, I want to be myself but I don't know who am I anymore... Last night, while walking back alone and playing Nature's Path, silent tears trapped in the broken heart broke loose and course down. My heart broke, I am again and again face with the similar situation. I know people are realistic and that they may not even like to be around me, but sometimes, you get that feeling when you are so lonely eventhough surrounded by people. You see people and a sense of happiness wash over you but you don't know what to say. Then, slowly, people forget that you exist, especially when you stand beside a bright star. It is alright, naturally I wanted to be just like that person, well-like, out-going and everything I could hope for. But, I found out I just can't be. I fele embarassed and ashamed of myself. I can't bring myself to speak or talk. It is rather complicated but it is not done of purpose... If you have a rude comment to make, please keep it to yourself. If given the choice, I would love to post photos of all the happy times I am having here... I would not want to post something so complex and heavy. But, this is how I feel right now. I know, that someday in the near future, I would probably read this back and chuckle and my silliness, but isn't that the point? We change over time and no one had said that it would be a pleasant process. With only sadness then come hapiness. Failure then success... There's always ups and downs and right now, I am at the very bottom, on my way up. I know, I am going to be alright, Father for you are with me the whole way of my life... "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discourage. For the Lord your God will always be with you wherever you go." Proverbs 1:9 Beautiful verse isn't it? 0 comments Thursday, July 23 ( The Irony @ 12:51:00 ) There are so much in my mind now that I want to speak of but I can't, that I would love to type here but I can't, that I want to scream out to the hill just opposite but I CAN'T... Ever wonder how ironic it is to have the freedom of speech when you are being trapped inside a prison of speech, where you can't say anything that refuse to leave your saturated mind... I am no angel, the blog address is just me trying to be nice and sweet. I should have put devil instead. You know the black creature with a tail and 2 horns. I looked like that now if you could see me. Probably with a big fire raging over my head. I am trying to change, no saying bad things or thinking bad of others but honestly that proves difficult especially if the person keep stabbing you in the back, in my cases, in my face.. I wonder which is worse? I am amazed and thankful for answered prayers. So far, my studies had been better, starting off better than last year, where I was floating aimlessly. Now, I see my goals more clearly and I am finding my disciplines to sit down at my table after class and dinner to take out my book ad actually read something or do something. To top that off, it ain't that bad after all. It is actually fun when you really get to understands concept and there is that "ah-ha" moments where the tiny tiny light bulbs light on top of my head.... well, ya, it happens a lot and it is only the first week. Wonder what I had been stuffing in my mind last year.. Hmmm.. Well, that is the lighter note of things. As of now, my brain is so messed up I can't really think straight and I just got to remove all these distractions in my mind. Drey was right. There are tonnes of KS people around and in my case plenty of very rude and judgemental people around. Yes, I do regret having to repeat but I am just too cowardly to choose another path. Who have I become? Someone whom I am not, that's for sure. Hidden behind layers of masks. Trying to be nice when I don't want to, trying to forgive when I can't, trying to remain invisible but .... It's always the buts.. I really wonder... I got a lot of culture shocks as of now... People are ruder than before, braver than before and a lot less mature than before. It's something that needs time for me to adjust myself to, to feel comfortable as in immune to the negative surroundings.. I am hoping that it will be soon... How is it that you can easily forget someone who is stepping on your toes, always around you that it is impossible to ignore and always doing things that disgust and annoy you? Most importantly, how to stay away and just forget when they are snatching everything from you. History in that department is recurring. Not academic wise*fingers crossed*.. But you know, same old person, doing same old thing. Just that this time, this famous oxidation-reduction chemical reaction is coming back stronger than ever and only Day 1, it's already strike one... The score is still 1-0 and I am on the zero side. I am not planning to counter-attack but it is getting on my nerves. I thought I had found the heart to forgive and forget but clearly I do not know myself well. It's a brand new chapter with the same old main character. It is going to get interesting. But this year, unlike the last, I will just sit back and enjoy the show, well, after I finish all my works and revision.. Tata *I am not emotional or messed up just that I need to get all these junks out of my head to clear and air it for the next session of Maths time..=D I am really happy here. I miss my family and I have got great roomies and housies..=) So, yeah, life's good.. Need to hit the gym more often though.. Ughhh.. Though ya, chem reaction totally make me lose my appetite-literally... Maybe that's one good thing I wil get out of all these situations.. Sorry if my post looks all jumble up, well it is, it's a lot of skip and edit here and there.. But I'm glad it is off my chest and I did it without hurting anyone or anything..* 0 comments Tuesday, July 21 ( bad day @ 12:56:00 ) 2nd day and already it is a bad day.. connection sucks, fly in food, right eye puffy=temporary single eye lid(if u know me well, u shud know how i loathe the idea), sleepy in class albeit sleping before midnight! neways, met a lot of ex batchmates..=D was glad seeing them.. Our batch seriously going thru a lot of tou gong jian liao...finishing course in april*booooo* 3 days study break ONLY compare to last time 1 week! 1 week term break instead of 2! so unfair..that's what got me so down today..maths tutorial later then gym and track.. u'll be seeing me a lot less in cyber world from now on.. tataz -yuri- 0 comments Thursday, July 16 ( BACK IN AIMST @ 15:51:00 ) Well, greetings from AIMST... Finally touched down in Penang Airport after 3 days in KL... Met up with Shila and it was fun and chaotic..*winks* Well, AIMST haven't changed much... Still, it's fly, stinky and green bugs season now... I got a room for 4 and I haven't seen my roomies yet! I am guessing they are locals? Probably from Penang, Kedah or something... Owh Well... JUst a short short update, will blog more when I am able to online in my room tonight.. Cos a friend of mine borrowed my LAN cable.. So, probably going online tonight, since there's not much to do and everyone else is having exam.. hmmm... well, to those coming back next month, HAppy Holiday and see you all !^^ PS : The sucky bus service just got suckier..Shall update soon!Till then, lotsa lovess~ 0 comments Saturday, July 11 ( Bye Bye Bintulu! @ 16:44:00 ) Am leaving Bintulu tomorrow morning for KL.. Will be in KL for 3 days and then it is Hello AIMST! Time to stop slacking and start studying.. Prayers needed friends! Pray for journey mercy and protection along the way... Pray also for wisdom and good memory in studies, also disciplince.. Pray for the students, workers, lecturers in AIMST for protection against the Swine Flu... See you all soon AIMSTers!^^ Look out! I'm BACK! 0 comments Wednesday, July 8 ( Faith and Fragile @ 22:39:00 ) These 2 days, I was being shocked by Swee Yun who told me her mother got stroke and was hospitalised. It was a difficult time for her and her brother. Her dad passed away a few years back. She is my best friend back in secondary school and I still care for her like my own sister now. I protect her and try to shield her from anything that may happen. That was a few years back.. Now, she had grown into a braver young lady, capable of looking after herself and gaining self-confidence. During this difficult time, she was surprised at how brave she was. The condition of her mom is now critical and with every phone calls she broke my heart, because I was sad about the whole thing... I went to the hospital and accompany her today... It was heart-wrenching ordeal and face it, the doctor at the hospital act as if they don't really care. It was pretty heartless. I do not know if they are already used to this and this is how they face things everyday or it was just about shortage of doctors around. The only thing to do now is pray. Today, God wrote another name down in the book of life.. After all these years of praying and hoping, Sister Swee Yun's had received Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior... I prayed for God to send forth an angel to tell her family the Good News in this difficult time for I can't converse well in Chinese and it is tough for me to talk to someone who is so close to me and I myself lack the courage and experience... I prayed and God answered my prayer... How wonderful is our Lord! So now, my brain is still a bit fuzzy from all the sudden incidents. Please continue to pray for Swee Yun's and her family. That the Lord will be with them during this difficult time, to uphold them. Also pray for her mother to be healed and come to know about God.. Pray that they will submit themselves and her mother unto the Lord's hands... Do pray brothers and sisters in Christ... This sister need our prayers and love the most at this moment.. 0 comments Monday, July 6 ( Of Pandemic Flu @ 12:00:00 ) Then, Jasper drop the bomb and told me yesterday that AIMST got 1(satu, one, ichi) confirmed case of H1N1 swine flu.. I went into shock for a few minutes and told mom.. After much self-persuasion that everything is going to be alright, this morning I woke up and start blog-hopping, updating my links and such. Then David popped up and asked when I am going back to AIMST and reward me with a "great" news... Telling me 16-20 cases now.. Uni not closing down... Then read Audrey's Blog and Audrey said 20 suspected flu also.. Kintio can or not? And I am walking into the whole situation like in a week time...=S I'm afraid obviously.. I can see myself loading up my shopping cart with face masks, many bottles of hand sanitizers and sprays and tissues... Ahhh geez... Why oowh why? Well, it's quite a low time now..Pray for all of the students there and take care peeps! To AIMSTers, See you next week! Gosh, I haven't even budge to start packing.. I am so lazy and reluctant to leave home...=( 0 comments |
