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Child of God  ~[Lily Soon] ~Belongs to God. ~I don't bite. ~Music is beautiful. Here & There Talk To Me Definition of Love Love is kind It does not envy It does not boast It is not proud It is not rude It is not self-seeking It is not easily angered It keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil But rejoices with truth It always protects Always trusts Always hope Always perserveres Love never fails) 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 God's Words Pray with Me -Sister's spiritual growth -Auntie Christina Sim's health & healing -Developing countries -Spiritual growth -Knowing what God has in plan for me -Relatives to know about Christ -Gift of Giving -Studies -Health and well-being of family -Discipline and focus in goals -Perserverence in reading the bible daily Bros & Sis<3 Aimst Fellowship Crystal Bian Bian Lily姐 小云姐 Teddy哥哥 Alex^^ Jasper Max Mic Mic Shi Yi Edith Val Yee Loi Larry Joy Kelvin C Kawaii Kevin Evelyn Felicia Jacinta Rome Serenne Lawson Blogs I Read Yuu~Chan Vain Kenny Xiu Wen Fai Fai Stephy Vincent Joey Shaunnie Christine Baby Bear(Li Ann) Papa Bear(Zhang Huai) Amelia^^ Angeline(Dolphin) Clement Yi Cheng Zhi Hui Rachael Kuan Wen Wei Lian Have a Look Cheesie Xia Xue Vivian Su Ann May Zhee Jessica Peggy Yan Wen Dawn Nira Gwendolyn Cai Weii Esther Pei Yeeng Feisty Charmaine Michelle Justice4BengHock YMI Isabella Chukei-Baby Let bygone be bygone. July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 October 2010 March 2011 |
Saturday, July 25 ( Feelings of Mine @ 10:06:00 ) Lying on my tummy, with every move, my body ache, threathening to come apart. As I look outside the window, through the mosquito netting, I saw clear baby blue sky and lush green trees. Clouds are scattered like waves rolling to the beach. I felt small, so very small and so very sorry for myself. Feeling sorry that I should be so ungrateful and immature, feeling sorry because I had let my emotions take control, feeling sorry that I let my mouth do the talking and not my mind, feeling sorry of how I took everything for granted. Feeling sorry because I don't live my life to the fullest and always complaining of everything. Feeling sorry because I felt sorry for myself... Fellowship yesterday was a boost to ease the pain of betrayal and acceptance of reality. Why am I complaining of being overweight and ugly when others are confined to the wheelchair or struck by a terminal disease? Why am I complaining that studies are tough when others are also going through the same thing, only much tougher and at a higher level? Why do I complain about how nobody cared when I have God by my side every single seconds of my life and with loving family? Sometimes, only during this emotional roller-coaster rides do I realise how ungrateful I am, how I had not been thankful enough to God for all He had given unto me, which is so much so that I can't even count them all. Every day is a blessing and I am learning how to be a more accepting and learning person. I am learning to run towards my goals without straying, learning how to stand on my own 2 feet and stop relying on others, learning how to do good and accept nothing of the same sort in return. When offering your kindness and care, and people just ignore you after the time of difficulty is tough, but it is part of life. I need to learn about life. It is amazing what we can find on the internet but I can't google "my life" and the whole paragraph or stories or pictures and videos will come out. I have so much things to learn, I want to be myself but I don't know who am I anymore... Last night, while walking back alone and playing Nature's Path, silent tears trapped in the broken heart broke loose and course down. My heart broke, I am again and again face with the similar situation. I know people are realistic and that they may not even like to be around me, but sometimes, you get that feeling when you are so lonely eventhough surrounded by people. You see people and a sense of happiness wash over you but you don't know what to say. Then, slowly, people forget that you exist, especially when you stand beside a bright star. It is alright, naturally I wanted to be just like that person, well-like, out-going and everything I could hope for. But, I found out I just can't be. I fele embarassed and ashamed of myself. I can't bring myself to speak or talk. It is rather complicated but it is not done of purpose... If you have a rude comment to make, please keep it to yourself. If given the choice, I would love to post photos of all the happy times I am having here... I would not want to post something so complex and heavy. But, this is how I feel right now. I know, that someday in the near future, I would probably read this back and chuckle and my silliness, but isn't that the point? We change over time and no one had said that it would be a pleasant process. With only sadness then come hapiness. Failure then success... There's always ups and downs and right now, I am at the very bottom, on my way up. I know, I am going to be alright, Father for you are with me the whole way of my life... "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discourage. For the Lord your God will always be with you wherever you go." Proverbs 1:9 Beautiful verse isn't it? 0 comments |
