Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud
It is not rude
It is not self-seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices with truth
It always protects
Always trusts
Always hope
Always perserveres
Love never fails)
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
God's Words
Pray with Me
-Both parents salvation
-Sister's spiritual growth
-Auntie Christina Sim's health & healing
-Developing countries
-Spiritual growth
-Knowing what God has in plan for me
-Relatives to know about Christ
-Gift of Giving
-Studies
-Health and well-being of family
-Discipline and focus in goals
-Perserverence in reading the bible daily
Had been wanting to post this post for a long time now, since I was back from the New Year retreat. Just realised, this would be my 200th post and the last for a period of time. How long? I don't know. These days I am easily overwhelmed by a strong feeling of I-don't-know-what. I looked back too much and thought of how I blew every things and chances that I had once came across in my life. How I had spoil everything one day of another. How easily I lose my head when I am in the middle of things and situations. I looked back and see how much and how less I had grown over the period of one year. One year, not a short nor a long time. But during those period of time I felt I have grown and mature but I was wrong, very wrong. I worried unnecessarily about unimportant things and when I am back, I was slammed back into reality, cold hard and harsh reality call life. Where everything appears less than perfect than the last I saw them-in my imagination, my wild imagination is to be blamed. Writing here had been my source of pouring my hearts but now I read back, they all sounded stupid and I just felt ashamed of them. I want to learn to grow up, to accept the world with its imperfection, and try to stop imagining the world as it would never be. What with family crisis and my education, with my weight and finding a job, with the fear of losing people I love more and hangind on desperately trying to keep in contact with people that I care for , people that I love, afraid that they do not know that I still remember them dearly. I am tired, very tired. If one of these days I have a special someone, a soul mate, well, let's see if he can put up with my non-sensical thoughts and my depressed feelings and how I constantly worries about everything and anything from serious to ridiculous. Passionate? Not if you are smacked in the middle of the problem, how can you not think about it. Now, sitting here, binding myself with suffocating corset and skin still burning from thermo-active slimming cream, I wonder why am I breathing at this monent. Life as it is for me, pathetic is the only word to describe this. I need to get back in control of my life or more accurately, let God take control of my life. I need a break. I had been absent from the cyber world for a period of time and it felt good to be cut off from the world for a bit. I really need to talk to someone, but I don't know who. I mean physically. I felt suffocated by the hypocritical people around me. My only place of hope is now my worst nightmare. I tend to really see the true colours of people around me. Good or Bad? I don't know. They just show that they care on the surface, deep inside, they care twopence about your existence. There is no love, just realistic human nature. There is no one to be blame, only me. I am the source of all problem. I know it... and I want to fix it... Fingers cross... Well, I still remember all of you dear friends out there though it is quite impossible to be in contact so often. I do still care.. Take care and have a great holiday. As for the result coming out next week, I don't know how true is that piece of information. I am not nervous because I already know my result but still I hate to see the dissapointment of my parents and I hate myself for it.
