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Child of God  ~[Lily Soon] ~Belongs to God. ~I don't bite. ~Music is beautiful. Here & There Talk To Me Definition of Love Love is kind It does not envy It does not boast It is not proud It is not rude It is not self-seeking It is not easily angered It keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil But rejoices with truth It always protects Always trusts Always hope Always perserveres Love never fails) 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 God's Words Pray with Me -Sister's spiritual growth -Auntie Christina Sim's health & healing -Developing countries -Spiritual growth -Knowing what God has in plan for me -Relatives to know about Christ -Gift of Giving -Studies -Health and well-being of family -Discipline and focus in goals -Perserverence in reading the bible daily Bros & Sis<3 Aimst Fellowship Crystal Bian Bian Lily姐 小云姐 Teddy哥哥 Alex^^ Jasper Max Mic Mic Shi Yi Edith Val Yee Loi Larry Joy Kelvin C Kawaii Kevin Evelyn Felicia Jacinta Rome Serenne Lawson Blogs I Read Yuu~Chan Vain Kenny Xiu Wen Fai Fai Stephy Vincent Joey Shaunnie Christine Baby Bear(Li Ann) Papa Bear(Zhang Huai) Amelia^^ Angeline(Dolphin) Clement Yi Cheng Zhi Hui Rachael Kuan Wen Wei Lian Have a Look Cheesie Xia Xue Vivian Su Ann May Zhee Jessica Peggy Yan Wen Dawn Nira Gwendolyn Cai Weii Esther Pei Yeeng Feisty Charmaine Michelle Justice4BengHock YMI Isabella Chukei-Baby Let bygone be bygone. July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 October 2010 March 2011 |
Wednesday, November 5 ( Swollen Eyes, Aching Heart... @ 19:58:00 ) Coming to University this year was initially an exciting plan that I had looked forward to all my life. What was I thinking. How could I be such a fool? Believe it or not, I was DYING to escape from life at home, always trying to run away and look forward to these days, being away in college somewhere far from home with all the freedom I can get, doing anything I want without being control. After being here, I am just DYING to go home, better still travel back in time or at least stop the time here and now. I don't want to grow up. After being away from home for approximately 10 months, only did I know of this phobia of mine. I am constantly thinking too much about how I will lost my parents and family, in an unnatural way, sending myself into constant fear and depression. During the last term holiday, I went to this dinner, where a little girl was singing a song about a mother. I was touched by the lyric and actually feel and understand the meaning. I was tearing at the dinner and had to excuse myself to the washroom where I think and rethink of the song and my mom and dad. Come to think of it, I don't need to be a mother myself to understand what my parents are going through now and their feelings. Just imagine, it seems like only yesterday when I was still small enough to be held in their hand, they rock me to sleep, singing me lullabies, my first day at school, when I was so young that my action are almost robotic and adorable, where I listen to them and all it takes to make me happy was a popsicle. I miss those day. I don't mind being little all over again. I remember how I feel when one night years ago, I woke up and took a look at my baby sister's hand and realise she had grown up. I don't know why, but I knew I felt sad because she was no longer a little kid. I guess what my parents feel must be tonnes worse than this, because I am their child and they spend all their life raising me up and put all their efforts and love in me and my sister. Maybe at times, they do yearn that we stay young and small. Coming to university is not the hard part. The hardest part must be letting me go. Being so far away from home for the first time (including training period in STMS in Sibu for a few weeks before coming here) I was not really afraid at that time. But, imagine the fear they have to go through, thinking about my safety and well-being, me without them. They raise me up not to just let me succumb to some danger of the world. I think I do understand how they feel. I guess part of it is the fact that they trust and believe in me. That I would do my best and take good care of myself, believing that they have brought me up well enough to distingusih between right or wrong. It must be hard for them to finally let go. And here I am, not doing the best I can. Finals is in less than 7 weeks and I had not buck up. I am not going to let this 12 agonizing months away from home go to waste. It will not be nothing. I am going to start preparing for exam and make sure I get good results to qualify for dentistry, even if I don't I will not live with the regret that I had not tried hard enough. Mom and dad, there are a lot of things in my heart that I feel i can't get out of my heart and tell you all about it. For one thing, is my love to you and how thankful I am to both of you. It is something I cannot pen down or say, because there are no words to express my love for you. One thing I know is, I am not ready to grow up and be on my own. I wish to be your little angle forever. I don't really think I need freedom and fun anymore. I just need both of you to be with me, loving me as before. I wish you can take me back home to be with sis. Mommy, daddy... I love you... 0 comments |
