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Child of God  ~[Lily Soon] ~Belongs to God. ~I don't bite. ~Music is beautiful. Here & There Talk To Me Definition of Love Love is kind It does not envy It does not boast It is not proud It is not rude It is not self-seeking It is not easily angered It keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil But rejoices with truth It always protects Always trusts Always hope Always perserveres Love never fails) 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 God's Words Pray with Me -Sister's spiritual growth -Auntie Christina Sim's health & healing -Developing countries -Spiritual growth -Knowing what God has in plan for me -Relatives to know about Christ -Gift of Giving -Studies -Health and well-being of family -Discipline and focus in goals -Perserverence in reading the bible daily Bros & Sis<3 Aimst Fellowship Crystal Bian Bian Lily姐 小云姐 Teddy哥哥 Alex^^ Jasper Max Mic Mic Shi Yi Edith Val Yee Loi Larry Joy Kelvin C Kawaii Kevin Evelyn Felicia Jacinta Rome Serenne Lawson Blogs I Read Yuu~Chan Vain Kenny Xiu Wen Fai Fai Stephy Vincent Joey Shaunnie Christine Baby Bear(Li Ann) Papa Bear(Zhang Huai) Amelia^^ Angeline(Dolphin) Clement Yi Cheng Zhi Hui Rachael Kuan Wen Wei Lian Have a Look Cheesie Xia Xue Vivian Su Ann May Zhee Jessica Peggy Yan Wen Dawn Nira Gwendolyn Cai Weii Esther Pei Yeeng Feisty Charmaine Michelle Justice4BengHock YMI Isabella Chukei-Baby Let bygone be bygone. July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 October 2010 March 2011 |
Sunday, June 1 ( The Wind, Leaf and A Tree @ 13:53:00 ) It is a wonder that I had always been so dumb when it comes to love and relationshsip. My perceptions are always somewhat wrong and my requirements and dreams are just well, dreams. How I yonder for sweet pure love, sometime thinking about them, letting them replay over and over in my mind, as if playing hide and seek with my neural nerves. But the more I looked at this corrupted world, the more I am exposed to the raw and cruel fact that most guys nowadays are not what I used to think they are, and their idea of relationship is just unpure anymore, it's just something to get the girls to go to bed with them. It makes me sad. Aren't there any more real love these days? The classic type of romance of walking along the beach and just counting the stars at night, talking about things in life? Have you ever felt insecure in your life? Sha strikes me that day, with the exact word, insecurity. I realised how much I had traumatised from my past two relationship that I had not planned to ever getting commited again, being afraid to be burn by the flame of lies and deceit and waking up to find you don't know the person that you loved anymore... One word desribe the confusion in my heart-insecurity... Insecurity as in being blindfolded and being in the darkness, being unable to see light and where you are going, afraid of taking a step and fear of bumping into things and falling. But, in those instance of darkness, I know how much a pair of hands will be most helpful and comforting. A big strong hand that seems to promised to guide me and not let me fall, and act as my eyes and guide me to my destination. One hand to hold mine and another firmly yet gently placed on my back, walking behind me so I would not fall and gently whispering into my ears of the obstacles I am coming to and telling me which directions to walk. It is comforting to know someone warm is there to catch you whenever you face the danger of falling. I am the type of person who is stubborn. It takes me a while to follow the directions albeit being repeated for times. I guess, insecurity really had sunk into my heart and planted itself there firmly. That i find it hard to trust anyone else but God... But, it seems, life that i am living now is almost dead, unlively and boring. I dare not take risk and still trying hard to keep my spiritual life in spirit. How my realistic mind is battling with my fairytales' thoughts. How part of me wants to lead a normal life of studying, graduating, working, getting married to prince charming, having children, settle down, retired and die. But part of me struggling to accept reality that I had to work hard to graduate and how I may not even get to realise my ambition and how I won't find someone who loves me for me and found a guy who fits all the criteria I had in mind, and how the ones who seem to be the perfect soul mate always end up fancying my girl friends or having girlfriends of their own or just turning out to be pure losers whom I dislike. Lately, I had really cling to the hope that God provides according to his riches in glory and I won't say I don't worry anymore, but it sure makes me think less and totally give up trying to find someone who is now non-existent. But I am not too proud to admit that one day this dream of mine will come true and someone nice will cross path and that someone will like counting stars by the beach with me at night, and go to church with me on Sundays to worship our Lord because he love God more than he will ever love me, someone who truly fear God, care about how he look and present himself, someone that my parents would like, having good table manners, knows how to behave, someone whom I can trust and respect me, someone who find me cuddling on the couch with a mug of warm milk on a lazy weekend morning acceptable and find my dreamy ways adorable..*winks* Don't worry, I snapped out of my non-sensible thoughts. Back to rude reality and fallen from the sky as the clouds of dream gave way. *poof* Just like that it is gone. But, it's never wrong for a girl to dream sometime ya? Especially on a lazy Sunday afternoon like this, too hot to study or nap but just right for crapping on her blog, thinking about the BBQ held at her home across the South China Sea last night, what her sister will be doing now, having fun and shopping with relatives visiting and if her baby cuzzie whom she miss dearly had safely arrived her home...And also digging through fond memories that she shared with her grandma. Sigh, I wished I am back home. I wonder why all the wonderful and exciting things always happen when I am not home. Crap... I do love to be in the middle of excitement... *glee* Well, I am off to playing silly games before more homework and probably a little bit of nappy time before church tonight. I so do miss home and mommy and daddy, tonnes lots.. With love, -Xiao Ni- Quote of the day, "Hold my hand in yours and catch me when I fall" Current non-sensible thought: Going to the beach with someone special...^^ Sensible thought : Go study or I will spank you... 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