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Child of God  ~[Lily Soon] ~Belongs to God. ~I don't bite. ~Music is beautiful. Here & There Talk To Me Definition of Love Love is kind It does not envy It does not boast It is not proud It is not rude It is not self-seeking It is not easily angered It keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil But rejoices with truth It always protects Always trusts Always hope Always perserveres Love never fails) 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 God's Words “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace” -Ephesians 1:7
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Saturday, June 28 ( 追求？ @ 18:36:00 )  L-O-V-E。。。爱。。。 一个好难形容的字。不，还是感觉呢？  小时候，不想去相信要找到两个相爱的人是一件高难度的事。慢慢，长大了之后就接受了这事实。听了不少人说过，自己也呈劲这样去鼓励别人，“喜欢一个人，就要努力的去追求。”现在想一想真是好单传又好傻哦。世界上，还有好多别的事。不能够就这样傻傻的追。 昨天，心里面早就知道应该放弃。追下去也不会有结果。上帝真的是很照顾我。然我还没投入这感情就先然我退出。你说，要这么追?难道，要我表白，然自己和他以后连朋友都没的做吗？不，我不想这样，而且，他不是一个会伤害心爱的人。所以，不管这么样，这条路，是走不下的了。因该是学习放下。。。  我，绕来绕去，还是躲不了自己喜欢的舞蹈。我，又悬着了再次跳舞。因该会在下个月表演吧。Quiz要到了。我要跟加努力，安排好时间，要念书，要补习，还要联舞。这样忙下去，因该就不会再去想他了。团脐现在又有很多事来做，而且，小停建议说，叫我们去产假比赛。是他然我勇敢去追求我的梦想，然我踏出第一步。我，会努力的！这下来，我要好好联系，用上帝赐给我的歌声来感动人的心。我相信我可以的。  我要超越自己。学习新的舞蹈，唱歌，念书，还有做个好女孩来荣耀主！小妮，加油哦！  我也相信，没有他的日子，还是会很美满。因为有主与我同在，还有身边的家人朋友来陪伴。这十八年没有他还不是过的很好吗？我真的是个傻瓜。。。 -小妮- 0 comments Friday, June 27 ( The Traffic Light Game... @ 17:35:00 ) 
Maths 1 tuition today with Bunny. Nothing as serious as shown in the photo but pretty close. I was almost ballistic with all the dy and the dx and figuring how everything works. Let just say bunny must be more frustrated than me. Come on, he is trying his best to teach a pig-head differential calculus. Pity...But it was awfully sweet of him to help. At least now I understand SOMEthing and is loaded with homework. Numbers numbers numbers...I hate Maths especially those with weird signs and alphabets.. 
Ermmm, this is Bunny doing Maths? Haha... 
Oh yeah, i got my heart broken. Nothing biggie though, it had been broken tonnes of times before, I am used to it. I half expect it. But then again, it ain't that bad. At least the tug-a-war ended before it could start. Blardy munkey. I did not even get the chance to tell him I like him...=.=" Pathetic...All the nice guys in the world taken? But, look at the bright side, at least now I know right? Sigh.... I am doomed to this silliness for life. Sigh Sigh Sigh... Owh well, I always have God ya...^^  But, many a time, I wish life is like The Traffic Light Party happening last night. That each and everyone have a ribbon tied to their hand. Red for taken, Yellow for It's complicated and Green for single. But in my game, I will probably eliminate yellow. *smirk* I mean why trouble myself with the uncertain status? Love is always a yes or a no, no? How would you know if a guy is taken or single unless you see the girlfriend hanging on his wrist? (In my case, yes, because I am pretty much oblivious and ignorant to my surrounding and yeap, I like to tell myself that guys I like are usually single-stupid, naive, selfish me)
Now with all the nonsense rantings out of my system, it's time to get back to work? Or maybe I will just rest up for tonight's fellowship and try to rescue my brain from further brain damage cause by figures and alphabets, slopes and tangents. It is just great to laze about doing nothing-something I can't afford. I did have my 15 minutes of luxury last night though after getting off the phone with mommy. I decided to take a walk around the small water hole in front of the library building, watching the night sky, listening to love songs and hugging my knees, falling into my fluffy hoodie, all the time imagining he was there(or was my brain empty at that time?hmmmm) and I was mesmerize by the beauty of nature and realise once again how much I love to be around water. Sigh... Life is beautiful and Ilikehisgirlfriendalotdarnit!!! Owh well, they will last forever...^^Suh-sweet... For now, I will just let myself live on to the motto below :  Owh well, toodles loves... Enjoy the weekend and many blessings from God!^^ XOXO, -Xiao Ni- 0 comments Thursday, June 26 ( 我，迷路了。。。 @ 18:09:00 ) 0 comments Tuesday, June 24 ( For Sale! The Sailor collection! @ 19:52:00 ) 1) Faux 1 piece shirt+vest  The gold anchor in front of the T-shirt...
The look from the front! This simple piece seems to be a combination of a simple black and white stripes T-shirt paired with Jean vest. The anchor on the T-shirt is composed of gold glitters. The quality of the shirt is not bad, quite comfortable. Goes well with short pants or ruffled mini for casual look. Selling this piece for only RM 18 excluding postage fee.2)Sailor Bubble Dress  The back of the dress... 
The front view of the dress... Bought this dress because it look so cute! The bubble hem and the cute colour combination reminds me of my childhood, thus the purchase. One thing I like about this dress is also how it can be shorten and lengthen as the bottom is quite tight and can be pull up and down to adjust to desirable length. The spaghetti top part is of cotton material with adjustable straps and the bubble dress bottom is of knitted material. Quite good quality and goes well with perhaps a sailor batch or scrunchies? Or even leggings. I experiment it with a collared small jacket and it look oh-so-adorable and even look presentable with a mini vest. Selling this exclusive piece for only RM 25 exclusive of postage! So do grab it before it's gone! Email me for further details and enquiries. No dead buyers please. Prices may be negotiated if you want both pieces! Patient and Non-choosy buyers preferred! -Xiao Ni- 0 comments ( 新的一天！ @ 02:01:00 ) 昨晚和Sha吃饭时，聊了好多事。在太平的时，真想他呢。聊天，吃饭时，发觉到自己真的变了很多。不管是说话，动作还是对别人的态度，都变了。觉得自己慢慢会到原点，回到弹出一样的我，靠着上帝的我。那种感觉真好。好想找回成失去过的宝贝。小妮又变乖，变成个好女孩了哦！^^ 昨晚打了电话会去和妈咪报平安。妈咪跟我说爸比在KL了。明天一早爸比又要出国做工啦。妈咪一定很寂寞。和妈咪说了晚安过后就打了电话给爸比。真的好想念家人。爸比答应明年我念完Foundation了，会带我，妈咪和小妹去玩哦！好期待！今年他们出门好几次了，但我没机会跟他们一起去。新年时也没回到家。=（ 现在也很晚了。都两点多早上了。明天有八点的课。我也因该睡觉了。开始觉得有点累。现念Chemistry就要睡了。 又是新的一天了！希望今天还是过着有上帝陪伴的一天。耶和华祝福满满！大家晚安咯！ XOXO， ~小妮~ 0 comments Monday, June 23 ( 我真的大“变”了！ @ 01:04:00 ) 回到AIMST，真的觉得自己真的改变了很多。再次学会放下一直以来背的“石头”，学习不要在去讨厌，要爱。上帝在这两天的时间就再次的感动到我。 我认识了很多的新朋友哦！ 真的好开心。太平的咖啡山是真的很漂亮。 好多事发生了。改天再更你们说哦！现在我要念书了就去睡了!^^ 好累了。 姐姐要回去了。希望他们快点回到这里！会很想你们哦！ -小妮- 0 comments Monday, June 16 ( I am In!!!^^ @ 00:22:00 ) But, the thing is that I had been shortlisted for the Most Natural Competition Online!^^ Hee~ Click Here... please vote for me after register!!!^^ I got to go, sleep.............. 0 comments Thursday, June 5 ( The World Is One Sick Place... @ 23:47:00 ) It makes me very mad to know that the same people that used to make my life so darn miserable come up to my sister and tease her and call her names. Hey buddy, this is my baby sister we are talking about. Just stay away and I am being extremely polite here. I am no longer scare of all you big bullies. Forget the name calling and the mental torment, just GROW UP! Being stronger and being aggressive will not get you all anywhere, you know? Have you even think about your future? About how you have a family that is actually concern about your future well-being? Come on, who do I think I am talking to right? Talking sense to the wall would be easier. Messing about with girls is just wrong especially when the initial thing that cross your mind is how good-looking they are. How would you feel if you kill a person? Indirectly and unintentionally? I know you guys almost did by driving me up the wall with the name-callings in the past years, teasing me about my weight and the way I look. Have you ever thought of the things you all said? The sleepless nights I stayed up tossing and turning thinking about all the nasty remarks you all make and how I dreaded to wake up the next morning to go to school to face you all again. How I secretly wished all of you would just treat me like an invisibility wall when i walked pass and how I took detours when I saw you all from far and speed up walking to avoid you all? How because of all the mental harassment I almost drove myself crazy, imagining things that were never true and tried taking my own life simply because you all drove me nuts and I had no one to turn to. If I had died then, I doubt you all would feel guilty right? How you injected all the paranoia into my mind. You must be so pleased that you could all influence me so much. Now, I don't effing care anymore. I just can't stand by watching you all continue mentally-bullying perfectly alright girls with nasty remarks. Hello! It's not only looks that counts you know? Just how shallow can you all be? Do you know, how much agony you could cause to their family if anything happen? You know how I become a bulimic because of all these incidents? How I am still suffering from the consequences now? Just imagine, if you ever settled down with A wife and have children of your own and people go around bullying your daughter that way, how you would be worry sick and how your heart will ached? I doubt you all will. You are all spoilt, ignorant, hopeless and heartless perverts that victimised young, innocent girls. It's just shallow, it's pitiful. Girls, be careful of whom you choose to befriend, do not get sweet talk by guys and if anyone make you uncomfortable with their remarks, listen to your heart and follow your instincts because that is call harassment and mental tormention. Get help, seek your parents or any trustworthy adults, it's useless going to teachers that might not care, believe me, been there done that. Sometimes these insensitive teachers can just make things worse. Also, remember you have parents and family that loves you and care for you. And God...Who create you and you are beautiful in his sight. Don't change and follow what the world wants, you will never fulfil the requirements of the world, but it does not matter, just stick closely to God's words, and you will be alright. I can't deny dieting is important to a healthy body. If there is a need to slim down due to weight problem, stick to healthy food and exercise the good old way. Remember, you are doing this for yourself, not anyone else. Don't let others make you do things you do not want to. I had to admit I had to grown a great deal over these few months time and I no longer fear you all. Being away in a place you all can never be in is a great escape for me to see the world and to see some kindness and to realise what you all did is very very wrong. It does not matter anymore, while some of you may waste your life, going about spending your parents money or even involve in crimes or anything, it does not matter to me, because by the end of the day, we will see what happens to you all in the end. And I hope it would be something good... Just grow up! *seriously, people can be so childish and inconsiderate* **stop with the anorexic and plastic surgery image** ***A little hint here, if you are going for looks guys, I suggest you go and marry a flower vase and after marriage, you can display her in a display case in your living room..remember to preserve her too, so she won't age ya!^^ Add spotlight for extra effect...^^*** ****Come on, there are more things than meet the eyes okay?!!!**** 6 comments Sunday, June 1 ( The Wind, Leaf and A Tree @ 13:53:00 ) It is a wonder that I had always been so dumb when it comes to love and relationshsip. My perceptions are always somewhat wrong and my requirements and dreams are just well, dreams. How I yonder for sweet pure love, sometime thinking about them, letting them replay over and over in my mind, as if playing hide and seek with my neural nerves. But the more I looked at this corrupted world, the more I am exposed to the raw and cruel fact that most guys nowadays are not what I used to think they are, and their idea of relationship is just unpure anymore, it's just something to get the girls to go to bed with them. It makes me sad. Aren't there any more real love these days? The classic type of romance of walking along the beach and just counting the stars at night, talking about things in life? Have you ever felt insecure in your life? Sha strikes me that day, with the exact word, insecurity. I realised how much I had traumatised from my past two relationship that I had not planned to ever getting commited again, being afraid to be burn by the flame of lies and deceit and waking up to find you don't know the person that you loved anymore... One word desribe the confusion in my heart-insecurity... Insecurity as in being blindfolded and being in the darkness, being unable to see light and where you are going, afraid of taking a step and fear of bumping into things and falling. But, in those instance of darkness, I know how much a pair of hands will be most helpful and comforting. A big strong hand that seems to promised to guide me and not let me fall, and act as my eyes and guide me to my destination. One hand to hold mine and another firmly yet gently placed on my back, walking behind me so I would not fall and gently whispering into my ears of the obstacles I am coming to and telling me which directions to walk. It is comforting to know someone warm is there to catch you whenever you face the danger of falling. I am the type of person who is stubborn. It takes me a while to follow the directions albeit being repeated for times. I guess, insecurity really had sunk into my heart and planted itself there firmly. That i find it hard to trust anyone else but God... But, it seems, life that i am living now is almost dead, unlively and boring. I dare not take risk and still trying hard to keep my spiritual life in spirit. How my realistic mind is battling with my fairytales' thoughts. How part of me wants to lead a normal life of studying, graduating, working, getting married to prince charming, having children, settle down, retired and die. But part of me struggling to accept reality that I had to work hard to graduate and how I may not even get to realise my ambition and how I won't find someone who loves me for me and found a guy who fits all the criteria I had in mind, and how the ones who seem to be the perfect soul mate always end up fancying my girl friends or having girlfriends of their own or just turning out to be pure losers whom I dislike. Lately, I had really cling to the hope that God provides according to his riches in glory and I won't say I don't worry anymore, but it sure makes me think less and totally give up trying to find someone who is now non-existent. But I am not too proud to admit that one day this dream of mine will come true and someone nice will cross path and that someone will like counting stars by the beach with me at night, and go to church with me on Sundays to worship our Lord because he love God more than he will ever love me, someone who truly fear God, care about how he look and present himself, someone that my parents would like, having good table manners, knows how to behave, someone whom I can trust and respect me, someone who find me cuddling on the couch with a mug of warm milk on a lazy weekend morning acceptable and find my dreamy ways adorable..*winks* Don't worry, I snapped out of my non-sensible thoughts. Back to rude reality and fallen from the sky as the clouds of dream gave way. *poof* Just like that it is gone. But, it's never wrong for a girl to dream sometime ya? Especially on a lazy Sunday afternoon like this, too hot to study or nap but just right for crapping on her blog, thinking about the BBQ held at her home across the South China Sea last night, what her sister will be doing now, having fun and shopping with relatives visiting and if her baby cuzzie whom she miss dearly had safely arrived her home...And also digging through fond memories that she shared with her grandma. Sigh, I wished I am back home. I wonder why all the wonderful and exciting things always happen when I am not home. Crap... I do love to be in the middle of excitement... *glee* Well, I am off to playing silly games before more homework and probably a little bit of nappy time before church tonight. I so do miss home and mommy and daddy, tonnes lots.. With love, -Xiao Ni- Quote of the day, "Hold my hand in yours and catch me when I fall" Current non-sensible thought: Going to the beach with someone special...^^ Sensible thought : Go study or I will spank you... TOODLES!^^ 0 comments |
