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Child of God  ~[Lily Soon] ~Belongs to God. ~I don't bite. ~Music is beautiful. Here & There Talk To Me Definition of Love Love is kind It does not envy It does not boast It is not proud It is not rude It is not self-seeking It is not easily angered It keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil But rejoices with truth It always protects Always trusts Always hope Always perserveres Love never fails) 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 God's Words Pray with Me -Sister's spiritual growth -Auntie Christina Sim's health & healing -Developing countries -Spiritual growth -Knowing what God has in plan for me -Relatives to know about Christ -Gift of Giving -Studies -Health and well-being of family -Discipline and focus in goals -Perserverence in reading the bible daily Bros & Sis<3 Aimst Fellowship Crystal Bian Bian Lily姐 小云姐 Teddy哥哥 Alex^^ Jasper Max Mic Mic Shi Yi Edith Val Yee Loi Larry Joy Kelvin C Kawaii Kevin Evelyn Felicia Jacinta Rome Serenne Lawson Blogs I Read Yuu~Chan Vain Kenny Xiu Wen Fai Fai Stephy Vincent Joey Shaunnie Christine Baby Bear(Li Ann) Papa Bear(Zhang Huai) Amelia^^ Angeline(Dolphin) Clement Yi Cheng Zhi Hui Rachael Kuan Wen Wei Lian Have a Look Cheesie Xia Xue Vivian Su Ann May Zhee Jessica Peggy Yan Wen Dawn Nira Gwendolyn Cai Weii Esther Pei Yeeng Feisty Charmaine Michelle Justice4BengHock YMI Isabella Chukei-Baby Let bygone be bygone. July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 October 2010 March 2011 |
Tuesday, May 6 ( It Has Been A Year @ 03:42:00 ) Looking back, I smirked at my naive-ness thinking how my first love will be my only love. Too bad, things don't work that way. I regretted getting into relationships. Given the choice I will have choose not to be involve in any relationships. If only I could turn back time... Nowadays, getting into relationship, the first thing that crossses my mind will be, will this last and will this guy be the guy to whom will I walk up to at the aisle on my wedding day, is this a guy whom I can trust my whole future to? It's difficult to imagine so...Being a coward and having fear of failure, I choose to crawl in my comfort zone, just being single and staying that way-not that I have a choice or do I? Last night, when I was feeling a tad bit unwell, suddenly, memories that I had tried suppressing since my last relationship, the feeling and the senses came back to me. I was laying on bed, lazying with Audrey telling me briefly about The Jungle Book and how we started talking about fairy tales... Brought back memories of how I used to force him to tell me a story before I sleep. How he held my hand,tuck me in, kissed me gently on my forehead before closing the door slowly behind him before leaving as I nap on after a tiring morning at school...The smell of his cologne hung in the air... The scent that I learn to love for the first time in my life. I am actually glad it's over. If it had end any later, we would end up hating each other. I just want good memories with him as I really learned to love someone and myself this much for the first time in my life. Don't get me wrong, I don't miss him or love him anymore. He got a girlfriend to do that now. The only thing I miss now I guess is the idea of a beautiful relationship and having someone to tuck me into bed, to hold my hand and sing lullaby to me until I sleep. Someone that stays with me until I am really sound asleep, just to accompany me, to give me a sense of security. You know how people are always looking for their perfect boys and perfect girls? I admit that I do, but come on.. I myself is far from perfection, full of flaws and just not the lovable type of girl. Which guy would love a girl who scream and just go crazy at time? What type of guys would go for a girl that is fat like me? What type of guys would want a girl who like to jungle-trek and get all dirty and sweaty? Who will want a girl that stop to talk to stray cats and dogs on campus and get all wet in the heavy rain just to carry all the new-born pups to a sheltered place so they won't get sick? Which guy will like a loud girl, outgoing and loud at times but anti-social the next? Which guy falls for a girl that is brave to voice her opinion and who is clumsy? Which guy would love that girl-love me? No one I think. I am just different, difficult... I am just not the type of plain jane from next door-ish kind of girl. I am loud, clumsy, noisy, crazy and plain silly. I can't help it and I won't change in any near time. I am just comfortable being me...  A girl whose face is like the surface of the moon? How I have wrinkles at the age of 18??  The one who still love furry pens?  And camwhore in a paper igloo and penguins make from styroform at a children's science fair?  One who has weird face shape unlike girls like dawn yang, vivian and nira?  nd one with eating disorder but still look like a hipo? I don't really love myself...*sighz* 1 comments |
