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Child of God  ~[Lily Soon] ~Belongs to God. ~I don't bite. ~Music is beautiful. Here & There Talk To Me Definition of Love Love is kind It does not envy It does not boast It is not proud It is not rude It is not self-seeking It is not easily angered It keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil But rejoices with truth It always protects Always trusts Always hope Always perserveres Love never fails) 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 God's Words Pray with Me -Sister's spiritual growth -Auntie Christina Sim's health & healing -Developing countries -Spiritual growth -Knowing what God has in plan for me -Relatives to know about Christ -Gift of Giving -Studies -Health and well-being of family -Discipline and focus in goals -Perserverence in reading the bible daily Bros & Sis<3 Aimst Fellowship Crystal Bian Bian Lily姐 小云姐 Teddy哥哥 Alex^^ Jasper Max Mic Mic Shi Yi Edith Val Yee Loi Larry Joy Kelvin C Kawaii Kevin Evelyn Felicia Jacinta Rome Serenne Lawson Blogs I Read Yuu~Chan Vain Kenny Xiu Wen Fai Fai Stephy Vincent Joey Shaunnie Christine Baby Bear(Li Ann) Papa Bear(Zhang Huai) Amelia^^ Angeline(Dolphin) Clement Yi Cheng Zhi Hui Rachael Kuan Wen Wei Lian Have a Look Cheesie Xia Xue Vivian Su Ann May Zhee Jessica Peggy Yan Wen Dawn Nira Gwendolyn Cai Weii Esther Pei Yeeng Feisty Charmaine Michelle Justice4BengHock YMI Isabella Chukei-Baby Let bygone be bygone. July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 July 2010 October 2010 March 2011 |
Monday, August 27 ( Down Memory Lane @ 22:43:00 ) Somehow, somewhat, I am glad to be leaving all these behind and hope never to cross path with some of them anymore-for now. Maybe, just maybe, many years from now, I would look back and misses those moments of staring down the lonely and long corridor when pausing on my way back to the Biology Lab from the office, while the warm sunlight seems to bath the corridor. Yes, those moments I will missed. But others? I highly doubt so. Have you ever stand in the midst of the crowd and felt so lost and alienated? Just sitting in the middle of the room, with groups of different races, of Malay, Chinese, Indigenous, consisting of male and female. Yes, you may fall in any of those categories and easily could fit in one of the groups, but to find yourself unaccepted and you look at yourself just to see that you don't belong in any of those groups. You are similar but just too different from them. Should one feel happy? Sad? Angry? Betrayed? Hurt? I don't know. The world seems to be used to the fact that using others for your own gain or good. But there are still those who are the one who let other use them. I don't know if it is a blessing to belong to the latter group. To know that people are using you, those so-called friends whom seems so self-centred at most times when you need favours from them, maybe just a read of their work to improve your knowledge because they are better than you, but to be rejected and the high and sometimes rude tones just make you feel a little moved-not because of overwhelmed, but due to hurt and you started to doubt if you had done the right thing for being so nice, that people start to take advantage of you and take you for granted. And these thoughts are what that leads to minor depression. Why are human being so insensitive about others? I felt like a coward. Every time I heard gigging and whisper, which I think is mighty rude, I start to wonder if I am the clown. Trying to brush the thought and the sound faraway, a glimmer of sadness will appear. Ahhh, it's that dreaded back-stabbing again. There must be thousands of stabs on my back now. But, do i really mind? Yes, I used to mind a lot and show it. Nowadays, I still mind, and try to hide it. Because always, always, what Alice Jie Jie once told me lingers near my ears and it sank in my mind, staying there permanently. "Because you see, at the end of the day, it's not between you and them anyway, It's between you and God. I know it's awfully true that if your heart is good, God will see. trying hard to turn blind and deaf. Can't wait to start that new chapter in my life. I am sure, God has a better plan for me. I am very sure. PMS or no PMS, recently, problems seem to come easy and I turned into a pessimist.It had been a long time since I had felt down or depressed. That I had even forgot this feeling of heavy-headed and feeling so complex that you are sure that your mind must be tangled. That's what I am feeling now. It is beyond description of any type. right now, my head felt most heavy and i don't know if I can bear it on my neck anymore. This must be what they called spiritual low. I know this blog had been most complex and very complicated, just like my mind now. I can't even think properly. I hope everything will turn out fine and I will be relief of all these burdens. Money can't buy happiness indeed. It can buy me things that make me happy but there is still the needs to have basic elements in life to bake that perfectness in life. Lesson of the day : Do not just take, but give as well. It is more blessed to give than to take. Maybe that's why I cease to give a lot even though I receive little. I hope and prayed for God's blessing. I just need you, Father. Please be there for me and let me feel your presence in my life once more. And transform me and give me real friends I can rely on, the ones that are genuine. I rather have 1 genuine friend that can be trusted that having 10000 fake friends that goes around back-stabbing and disappear when there is the need of their help. I don't want to turn into one either. I just hope that I could be kind to the ones that deserve it and I don;t mind people thinking that this is about them because I am sure you know who you all are right? But you are just too insensitive to get the meaning of all these. Yes, laugh your head off, give me that ugly sneer and eye rolling. I am used to that, I am almost immune. I know, someone else saw you. And that is what matters. I don't give 2 pence about what you think anymore. I had been pathetically stupid all these while. I had decided to be smart but not as aggressive of insensitive, so as not to be pushed around anymore. this is what people refer to as self-protection? I can stand on my feet now. World, here I come. i believe I can, i believe I can. I really do... Labels: Emotions and Memories 0 comments |
